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careless soothe
balm burn tiger worlds
like loves jungle tangle
smouldering in its mists
moonlit sonato trails
epoch ghosts and
spirits infantile
crying weak in shadows
like a wound festering
now
growing rapid and angry
consumption gone ravage
as the gangrene of
doubts crawls and climbs
like no tomorrow
take time to soothe
the disease
slake it with its
tease
go over the words
and the calls
settle the dark
let it please
music idle
the rampart heart
an obsession
just wont do
when lifes the stormy
business of focus
when all my eyes
see is you
fever ache
the rattle and the shake
will I survive or the
blackness thrive
and I wonder how my
voice will cry
in the tension
of the night
my soul un saved
will roam the trail
will it be too no
avail
but the healing
power of survival
is long
and the work of
the heart is strong
and the ugly scars
will be beautiful
living through the
test with a mar
I can wear it
like a badge of
honor
survived
and still
go far!!
Comments
Esker
Thu, 2015-07-23 04:00
mash up of free form and rhyme..
I like that its clumsy...im getting over some things of late..
obsession blah blah and all....tell me where its atrocious and how
it can be mated better or maybe just reworked! thank U..
scribbler
Thu, 2015-07-23 14:24
And
a well done mix I think..............stan
weirdelf
Sat, 2015-07-25 04:00
Let your words speak for themselves
it is not a mishmash, freeform can rhyme and I think this works wonderfully.
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/careless-soothe-submitted-by
I don't understand the line
test with a mar
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geezer
Sat, 2015-07-25 17:19
i get...
the line: " living through the test with a mar." [ Mar ] a blemish, scar. Or to injure, deface, spoil, damage, impair or disfigure. As always, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Esker
Sat, 2015-07-25 18:31
Mash mish....
Mash up..term used for the modern slang of music compilation of two songs..
or two styles...
Perhaps the Oz language doesnt us mar..Nothing wrong with this...North American
language use has outgrown a lot of words...Marred....that is probably the more
full term use of this word.....almost like scarred but it is correct in your definition
Geezer....not like a dent...or scratch...an imperfection...kind of like a foggy
memory..unpleasant...In body language it is the Tell of brushing ones clothes
of imaginary lint....
Ding! there....you made it through that near calamity with just a Ding!!
close call...
thank u all for the comments!!