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BLACK FRIDAY DEAL - ANTHEM FOR A DOOMED SPECIES
Headlines of sales pitch, spread dubious promise.
The devil’s tiny detail, isn’t obvious in invisibility.
A newscaster stutters, disbelief, coughs and smirks,
He understands your need for value, you’re human.
To be appeased by stimulation, as the voices clash,
and ire rises, pick a side, of frenzied foolish fervour.
Starved of truth, here’s a gift, banal entertainment,
to be virtually delivered, with rewards of marketing.
Soak in the sales pitch, effortlessly disguised as nonsense,
etched upon your brain, forever connected
to your bank account, desire, need, and faux demand.
Smile, the happiness of gluttony, is a forced fed customer.
Desire for the next must have item, you are the mark,
future looks stark, as you’re filled with useless clutter.
The parcel arrives, and you’re almost orgasmic.
Yet, immediately the feeling’s gone, replaced by carboard and plastic,
How will you escape from the debris of packaging?
When you’re a pawn on your master’s chess board,
and trapped in the wheel of consumerism,
Then what indeed?
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I like Margaret Atwoods poetry and I enjoy her writing. She has a natural ability to make her fiction read like poetry, if you read closely you will see it., I have a good understanding of the English language but I don't always follow the rules as I can be a little lazy and sometimes I'm just tired., I've been inspired reading the poetry on Neopoet and have enjoyed analysing other people's work.
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neopoet
Tue, 2023-09-12 11:30
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "ANTHEM FOR A DOOMED SPECIES" presents a critical commentary on consumerism and the manipulation of media. The use of vivid imagery and strong language effectively conveys the poet's viewpoint. However, the poem could benefit from more nuanced and subtle expressions of these themes.
The first half of the poem effectively uses metaphor and personification to create a sense of the media's manipulative power. However, the transition to the second half, focusing on the effects of consumerism, could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases or images that bridge these two themes.
The line "Yet, immediately the feeling has gone, replaced with cardboard and plastic," is a powerful representation of the fleeting satisfaction of consumerism. However, the subsequent lines could be more effective if they further explored the emotional and psychological impacts of this cycle, rather than focusing on the physical clutter.
The ending of the poem poses a thought-provoking question, but it might be more impactful if it were more directly tied to the themes of the poem. Consider revising this to more explicitly connect with the themes of media manipulation and consumerism.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. This would enhance the overall flow and readability of the poem.
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