this was me
the more paperwork people have
the more brainy they are
the more political levels
and if one is bright enough
or gifted too see
the more one carries
each weight on the shoulders
you grow stronger and weaker
like miles and hours clocking up

no one writes of that
u cant
just becomes something else
the shimmer and mirages
its so interresting how we are so primitive
and extremely intelligent as a species
The rituals and logic and
non logic at times

mythical....pathos
serenity

But the write as it is in an out of focus
dropped into the scene lends itself to
many applications
and wonder
which fiction writes tend to be
rather then a play by play
no mention of feelings
emotions
activity only

There are brilliant others in town I chill with
momentarily....scholastic...business people
turning large stock in spexialized things..
top end world application

i am not well liked....i am gnarly and outspoken
and judgemental..tempermental moody
and have a very large ego and attitude
and a wall about me miles thick...
all the mind business long ago to break me
the emotional battles
that may have done something...

I hold doors...smile...good wit...jokes..hold my end
at times long after when no one else will for others...
Only because I want too see outcome when the
end is held up for so long.....
What comes of this....
Because I can...its a hobby almost
I have no patience and incredible patience
no focus and incredible focus..

so many small peculiar persona things
changing like the weather
I let others infringe so heavy
its diffeerent..
the brilliant are creative...stories and
shared likes that others whom worked
with them for twenty years never
heard...Its a jealous business at times..
I say much a lot
and then often nothing
I can speak to a room of thousands
and find it nerve wracking speaking
to one...on one...

breadcrumbs of treasured thngs and moments
a lighter..a tatoo...a ring..a little book of notes
mostly the intel and stories....contacts on the
trail..

being a focal...having that kind of a want and
Persona...after awhile its fiction the character
and a lot keeping an eye...waiting for cues
thoughts..Ideas......the whole awareness
gets touchy biz.... Being Loud got me from
being crushed years ago.....people wont
let you mind your own business..some..

and live ninety five per cent in my head..
feelings are tricky and I dont get them at all..
intuition is a feeling but not like a feeling
kind of thing....its a business tool

anyway im dug in like always...no RandR
ever....just writing...drinking coffee...
smoking too much...

typical..
Thanks for the comments