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ALL THE WORDS I SHOULDN’T USE

Submitted by Ruby Lord on Sat, 2023-04-29 10:23

My words too often fall QUITE flat.
With THAT and THIS, or THIS and THAT.
To USE, SAY, LOOK, RUN, and WALK,
They don't excite or MAKE words TALK.
JUST, SOMETHING, STUFF, don't add MUCH weight,
ALMOST, BASICALLY, I berate.
Don't use that word AGAIN, I plead,
It doesn't spark or plant the seed.
Create a list, pause, FEEL, reflect,
Don't let a word meaning, deflect.
Don't assume a reader is in the KNOW,
Choose direct words to MAKE ideas grow.
Don't be afraid to sound absurd,
Or pick a word that's rarely HEARd.
Your words are yours, to USE with care,
SO, craft them WELL, and make them rare.
Make lists of words, both good and bad.
And practice, practice, LIKE you're mad.
The more you write, the more you'll SEE,
Your words can set your meanings free.

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

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Last few words:

I wanted to write about the words we shouldn't use in writing in particular in writing stories or non fiction. Poems are different but when I read a poem and I see a glue word, it causes a reaction in me. All the glue words I used are in capitals in the poem.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-04-29 10:23

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "All The Words I Shouldn't Use" is a well-crafted piece that explores the importance of choosing the right words in writing. The rhyme scheme and rhythm are consistent throughout the piece, making it easy to read and follow.

The poet effectively conveys the message that certain words can detract from the impact of writing, and encourages the reader to be intentional in their word choices. The use of examples such as "that" and "just" show how seemingly innocuous words can weaken the overall effect.

One suggested line edit would be to change "LIKE" in the line "And practice, practice, LIKE you're mad" to "AS IF", as it would fit the rhyme scheme better and sound more natural.

Overall, "All The Words I Shouldn't Use" is a valuable reminder for writers to be mindful of their language choices and to strive for clarity and impact in their writing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Obadiah Grey

Sat, 2023-04-29 11:31

I like this, Ruby. Its quirky

I like this, Ruby. Its quirky!
Not QUITE sure you need to emphasise the "glue words" with capitals THOUGH. (wink)
One word that gets me every time is "like", I dislike that with a passion.

I guess sticky words are the difference 'tween prose and poetry, poetry doesn't necessarily need to make sense (for me) but rather pose a question and partly answer one.

Again, I like this,
Obi.

Ruby Lord

Sat, 2023-04-29 11:55

Thank you Obi

Hi Obi, thank you for your kind comments, I appreciate your words. I did have them underlined but when I copied them over, the underlinings disappeared?

I know, like is one of those words that irritates. But stuff and something, someone, sometime, and somebody, all do my head in. (I said that with a Manchester accent). Hope you're well and writing loads of poems using your fantastic accent. :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2023-04-29 12:58

Any or all...

of these words are alright on occasion and in the proper context. I too, am sick of the word [like] when it is used as a pause; kind of [like] when you have to think of what to say. I remember hearing one girl I worked with, saying: "You know, [like] when I [like] thought [like] when I was saying it, [like]... I wanted to scream! [Like] you know when, you [like]... Good piece to remember when writing a poem. ~ Geezer.
.

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Ruby Lord

Sat, 2023-04-29 14:08