Once a fancified city slicker feller
was driving down a country road
when he hit a deer busting his radiater
scared him so bad he near dropped a load

I reckon the dude was still in luck
'cuz there wuz a farm house in sight
of where he had to stop his truck
a mere phone call would set things right

So he eased up on the porch on front
where he was met by a three legged pig
which hopped about with happy grunt
the oinker was both tame and big

He knocked on the old front door
which was opened by an old farmer type
who told the pig to lay on the porch floor
the swine laid and let a fart(quite ripe)

Well the city dude knew how to talk
(salesman being his main job)
he had to talk and walk the walk
to show that he was not a snob

Introduced himself and shook his hand
then remarked upon the crippled pig
the farmer said the pig was grand
and far from common, do you dig?

He talked about porker with pride
said it was hardly ordinary
with gap-toothed smile which grew real wide
declared it quite extraordinary

Then he pointed to the road
said his son, when young, was playing there
right before a truck squashed him like a toad
the pig dragged him away from harm, i swear

He then pointed to the pond
told of daughter's nearly drowning there
the pig swam out, saving her from the great beyond
set her on the shore without a care

Yep, that pig is quite a prize
he's almost like family
a real hero in our eyes
he really means a lot to me

Then farmer's eyes grew kind of misty
as he told of a fire at night
when squeals and grunts woke the whole family
allowing all to exit and be alright

Well the city guy had jaw agape
before use of phone he chanced to beg
he heard the question from own lips escape
"Was it the fire cost the pig his leg?"

The farmer scratched behind his ear
looked at the dude as if he was a dunce
said a pig like that one is so dear
that you don't eat him all at once