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Self Eulogy
I was a collection of pixels.
In the information are
A fancy bunch of fonts
Just a character on a page
A typographical error
That has now been erased.
Look back my text messages.
I’m sure you’ll be amazed.
It is with a heavy heart.
That I announce my demise
A few epithets to myself
Now it’s time to eulogise.
I know it’s just hyperbole.
So, forgive me while I enthuse.
No one can follow in my footsteps.
Or begin to fill my shoes.
I was a pioneer of online poetry
Capturing hearts and minds
Published in an alien language
I was just one of a kind.
You can stand by my graveside.
And pretend to weep and mourn.
But I’m too busy being dead.
While others are being born
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-09-10 18:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem titled "Self Eulogy" presents an interesting exploration of the digital self and mortality. It uses a variety of metaphors and language related to technology, which can be effective in conveying the theme. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further refinement.
Firstly, the poem could benefit from more consistent rhythm and meter. The inconsistent syllable count across lines can sometimes disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the third stanza has a different rhythm compared to the preceding ones.
Secondly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of imagery. While the poem uses a lot of digital and technological imagery, it also uses traditional imagery such as "heavy heart" and "stand by my graveside". This mixing of imagery can be a bit jarring and disrupt the overall theme of the poem.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a clearer narrative or progression. While the poem does have a clear beginning (the announcement of the speaker's demise) and end (the speaker being too busy being dead), the middle sections of the poem could be more clearly connected to this narrative.
In conclusion, while the poem has an interesting theme and uses some effective language and metaphors, it could benefit from a more consistent rhythm, more consistent use of imagery, and a clearer narrative progression.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Wed, 2024-09-11 09:46
Your title is good...
[I only hope that it is just hyperbole].
In the first few lines, you waver between present and past tenses.
I would stick to the present, as it more in keeping with the piece in general. My hope is that you do not feel left out or behind, as compared to newer poets and writers. True, it is a difficult thing to watch the poetry of today, being touted as the newest, latest thing, when you have been tutored in the art of punctuation, and the telling of a story. Many rules are being broken and trampled and no one called to account. I'm thinking that many of us are tempted to retire or commit Seppuku due to the wreckage left behind.
Fear not, there are many who will stay true and wrestle with the aftermath of critical thinking. All-in all, I am certain that you have struck a nerve with many folks. Good story, nice work, ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Sen99
Wed, 2024-09-11 17:43
Thanks for your feedback and critique
I wonder what will any of this poetry stuff mean to anyone but the lonely scribe self publishing his own words to complete strangers commenting on them ? Legacy in the online digital age
author commentLavender
Thu, 2024-09-12 10:24
Self Eulogy
Hello, Sen,
Your poem brings much to think about, and then think again. There are two elements here that speak to me. I feel the pride of being a poet and sharing the love for poetry, and I also sense the frustration in wondering if most people truly understand and appreciate poetry. I read your comment to Geezer about online strangers reading your work, and understand the feeling. I, myself, am no longer on any other social media. I consider the only social contact needed for me is with online poetry because it is such a wonderful expression and connection to what is not only beautiful, but real. It's almost impossible for poetry to be anything other than authentic and true to the heart and soul. I agree with your concern that it is dismissed by many - it's not for everyone. But those who love it, really love it! And that's so important.
Again, your poem gives me much to think about!
Thank you!
L
Sen99
Thu, 2024-09-12 11:36
Hello Lavender Always Interesting ......
...... To read your thoughts, your comments and kind words I value a lot. But it seems to me, even on a small site like this there is very little interaction or feedback from anyone, other than a few veteran writers, like yourself and Geezer.
Making an effort to engage with other's poetry and leave comments that is surely how a community grows, but what do we have here ? Only a committed few who really want to develop and grow. Some poetry is barely read others just don't even reciprocate anything, like the writers don't want to exchange ideas at all.
What do you think of Neo Poet Anthology. have you been published, do you find it impactful ? Does that connect us more, to new readers, make for a richer experience, I certainly hope so, otherwise it's just a solitary hobby.
author commentLavender
Fri, 2024-09-13 10:18
Hello, Sen,
I understand and agree that it is disappointing and frustrating to not receive as much exchange as one would like. But I still love to read and comment on other poets' work as often as possible. It's the most valuable tool for digging deeper into the art of poetry. I can only tell you how the site works for me - it's not my only source, nor a final step for studying poetry. But it is a familiar home to engage with familiar friends who love poetry and exchange work, experience, and thoughts. The Anthology publication has been enriching for me, the greatest reason being the affirmation and encouragement it delivers. Writing may almost be a solitary hobby of sorts, at least that is how it usually begins. But most poetry begs to be shared with others to fulfill a purpose of communication, and sometimes just for joy.
Thank you,
L
Sen99
Sat, 2024-09-14 15:59
What do you study ?
Hello Lavender How did you become a poet, have you had any formal study, any tuition in poetry, are you an graduate ? I've read and commented on a number of yours, you seem to be a natural wordsmith, a skill with language, maybe you have read and absorbed many other poets.
I just wonder where all hobbyists start, for me the site was a chance to connect with others and a place for me to develop, i began a s reader with no real writing background. Online there are many other sites, many hundreds of poems but not many serious writers who actually exchange ideas.
The Anthology has been great for including writers from different countries, many varied works, always interesting to read. I concur completely poetry is far more impactful being shared with others, it makes for a more positive experience inspiring others to read and comment, the more the interactions with others, the richer it becomes and a more creative place to visit.
Thanks
Sen
author commentLavender
Sun, 2024-09-15 23:02
Hello,Sen,
Yes - to reading and absorbing other poets and their work! Nothing is better than studying a poem, digging in to find out why a poet used a certain form, a specific word and how it makes me feel. It is invigorating to connect with a poem. Very exciting!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
L
Geezer
Fri, 2024-09-13 12:43
Like you...
and Lavender, I always hope that each new poet that shows up on the site will be someone who will comment and share ideas with the rest of us. Unfortunately, many of them do not; but if there is one who does every so often, then that is a bonus for us. Yes, we are a small site, but we are a comfortable place to show the world our thoughts and ideas. I understand that many of the people that post their work here, are uncomfortable about telling the community their ideas about what they read.
They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and so often are hurt whenever someone criticizes their work. This is not about telling a person that their work is not good; it is about helping them to improve their work. They look at some of the poets here and feel that they are not qualified to make criticisms on the obviously good work that they see. Our site is all about lifting other poets up and helping them to express themselves in a manner that is appealing to the rest of the world. We love having someone say, "I love this, it speaks to me, I understand how you feel." Of course, we would like to have criticisms about how they think we could make it better, but you don't have to be all technical, and just suggest that we might use a different word to help make something clearer or say that they didn't get a clear understanding of what it was about.
I usually comment and critique new writers until I see that they do not care about what the rest of us think, then I stop commenting on their work. If you respond and ask for help or at least say thank you, I will continue to comment and critique, if I see that they do not want to be a part of the site, but just want to post and get the "Wow, that is great," I would rather not interact with them. These people soon disappear and join a site that showers them with praise. Less work for me. I spend some time most days on working with those that want to improve. It does take some time and effort, but it is the same with anything, if you want to be good at something, it takes a bit of work. I'm still learning from my fellow poets here. I hope to keep learning and growing until my pen is dry and my presence gone. Thank you, my fellow poets for putting up with my endless suggestions of using punctuation and making yourself clear. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Sen99
Sat, 2024-09-14 15:43
Yes Exactly This
I completely agree with you. I have always replied to others, when I was new to the site, you provide good feedback usually on title, tense or grammar, there were other similar comments, I have also made my own comments on new poems and other writers. There were more active people 3 years ago, did they all go elsewhere ? I've been included in the anthology twice now, read the writers but rarely seen them reply or post anything here since.
The point you've made about engagement with others, is exactly this: there are people posting work here all the time, in to the stream, but there seems to be two completely different skills, one is writing and editing, the other commenting and critiquing. The latter comes from much more experienced and practiced poets like yourself, Lavender and other long time members on here.
I also agree there are many other sites offering free publishing, medals, awards, points but no way to improve and grow, it has become like a popularity contest for the few, in a clique. The contests here are at least asking the writer if they want constructive criticism or the raw truth and language use, title, imagery etc. which is why I write, these are the poet's tools, its enabled me to think about variety of topics and style. Receiving friendly comments is fine, compliments are great, but i try and pick out lines, an image or word choices that is more interesting.
Whether being in a different country affects this I'm not sure, I am based in UK there are fewer of us here most others in US. Do you feel there are lurkers here, those that would like to contribute but never do ? Maybe a fear of receiving anything negative if they leave bad feedback. All you can do, as you already do, is keep encouraging, commenting, and hoping more people will open up.
That is what will build real engagement, more creative works and a community here for many more years.
Thanks
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