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Haiku - choking
I'm gasping for air
palpitating hearts rhythm
calm is conceded
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:13
ello Eph
Lol @ false teeth I don't mind your mad mood
Very glad you liked my little haiku
Love Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Fri, 2013-02-08 03:31
Jayne
A very good Haiku, you just rest a while and we will see you here again in a week or so, Yours thinking of you as always, Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:17
No rest for the wicked !!
No rest for the wicked !! Very glad you liked my haiku
Talk to you very soon
Love always Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:23
Damn it Girl
You get orft and rest, we will wait for you no matter how long you rest.
BUT REST you MUST lol.
Will talk later I have a card to make ?? Yours as always Ian xx
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:42
I'm laying down lol I will
I'm laying down lol I will take it easy
Talk soon Jc love ~
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2013-02-10 11:01
The only thing, if it is a
The only thing, if it is a haiku,
it's language is difficult, the aim
of them is succinct simplicity,
a message easy to understand,
and usually with some kind of hint
at the season.
The last line could be,
a descending bird
or the wide landscape.
Which might help you see what I mean,
just saying what I felt Jayne,
Love to you Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.