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Blaze
silken nights
cooled with a waft
of jasmine
languid movement
stirs the air
humidity settles
ice tipped fingers
crawl over my body
the horizon glows
I know somewhere
It burns like hell
and death knocks
at every door
Thousands of men wait
at call to fire storms
that are yet to begin
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-01-05 06:29
Fireman in a tropical country
Making love with a fireman on duty in a tropical country?
Imagery, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Article in newspaper about someone woes fetish was so great they had a fire pole built into the bedroom!
Seren
Sun, 2013-01-06 03:32
I like a man in uniform lol
I like a man in uniform lol
This is about the contrast in our country at the moment
There are.hundreds of fires burning all over the country
There are thousands of volunteers waiting on call round
the clock ... Here's hoping they don't get the call
Thanks for your interest and read
Regards jayne-Chloe x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-01-06 03:36
Just shows how the word can be misinterpreted.
If that had been in the title it would have come across more strongly to me.
Apologies. I read it so differently now
Beautifully written
French
Seren
Sun, 2013-01-06 03:40
french
Nothing to be sorry about hun your right the title
is ambiguous I had trouble with it
Jc x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-01-06 04:23
Earth fires?
See what you mean about title
Blazes? Unexpected fires?
Awaiting fire?
Death by fire?
I personally would put fire in the title. Currently title does not add
Seren
Sun, 2013-01-06 04:46
Ooooo thank you I have a
Ooooo thank you I have a title ! Blaze
Much appreciated
Hugs Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Jenifer James
Sat, 2013-01-05 22:03
A lovely poem, Serendipity.
A lovely poem, Serendipity. Remembering that I am new to this forum (so know diddlysquat!) a couple of things occur to me: one, I love the first verse - and read it several times- but fell over the last verse. The rhythm is lost, for me, somehow. Hope that makes sense? xxx
Jenifer Jaspa James
Seren
Sun, 2013-01-06 03:36
Thanks Jenifer
Thanks Jenifer
I agree with you I will do some work on that ending
And thank you for the read much appreciated
Regards n hugs Jc x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Sun, 2013-01-06 09:39
Hey sis
Hero : one who runs toward smoke and chaos while others flee. This tribute you've written is well deserved. Now comes the nit picker lol.
third stanza try:
the horizon glows
somewhere
hell reigns
and death knocks
at every door
4th stanza:
cadres of men await
the call the call to battle
of fire storms
yet to ignite
just a few alternative..............stan
Seren
Sun, 2013-01-06 23:57
Dear Stan
I can see what you mean I will be working on all my recent poetry as I havent had a computer since xmas I lent it to my son lol I've been using my phone and I can say I have had enough of trying to do anything I have long nails and it makes it hard to type on the phone lol
thanks for the alternatives when I do my edits I will take a look at them
love JC x
p.s how is the new grandson going ? I bet hes a cutie
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats