Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

DEARTH

The solitary sunlight
has plunged into
the arid desert
now severely
lacks vegetation
This drought time
that has pounced
on this plain
shall be the
last straw
that broke
the camel's
back.

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like your title, it is sparse, like the poem. the flow is god. I'm a fan and advocate of free verse. your language usage is good. your words echo the way I have felt before , so I understand . keep writing. good work.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Will always be appreciative of your precious comments any day any time you stop by.
Many thanks esteemed poetess.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

I also liked your perspective. Indeed, you have a bird's-eye view. Many thanks for this review.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

Hi, Jackweb,
Such a vivid description - I can feel the intensity of the heat, and see the stark lack of vegetation. Witty, yet still a dramatic final line. A very appropriate title.
Lav

You have a wonderful comments here. Thanks very much.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.