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Unstoppable
There's a moment in everyone's life
When the fire in their heart takes over
Heart racing, adrenaline on overload
As the toughest battle draws closer
You brace yourself and get prepared
You won't quit until you complete the mission
You grit your teeth, give it your all
It's high time you knock out the competition
You can keep your silver, I'm after that gold
A heart and will like mine makes anything possible
You can help me or you can get out of my way
Dont try to slow me down, because I'm Unstoppable
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Wed, 2023-01-11 21:40
Unstoppable
Hello, Shelby!
Another inspiring, positive message. The rhyme is fairly tight and the rhythm for the most part is smooth. I do struggle with the rhythm a bit in the longer sentences, especially "With a heart and a will like mine, nothing is impossible." Perhaps keep the same strong message, but tighten up the language with something similar to "My heart and my will make it possible." Wonderful title. Enjoyed reading, as usual!
Thank you!
L
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-01-12 01:21
Lavender
Thank you so much! I'll edit those longer sentences so they'll keep pace better! Thank you so much for the comment, I truly appreciate the kind words!!!
Oluwatobi
Thu, 2023-01-12 01:47
Aptly penned
Aptly penned
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-01-12 12:33
Oluwatobi
Thank you!!!
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-01-12 04:24
hello,
such a great message! good title, great flow. clear and concise. good language usage, too.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-01-12 12:34
Candlewitch
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate the kind words!
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2023-01-12 05:05
Perseverance
Every marathon is just a whole bunch of single steps.
Great job.
Tim
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-01-12 12:35
Rosewood Apothecary
Very very true. Just take things one step at a time. Thank you!