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Cast Iron
Old Cast iron skillet
Black singularity
With all the density to boot
Home resides on blue flame
Houses newly hot oil
Now liquifying ginger root
Today some greens sautéed
Blanched well and set aside
Are darkened green, and crimson veined
While resting there they sit
Chicken is thrown to the pan
The searing sound, gourmet refrain
As the heat increases
Thigh and cutlet brown fast
The house begins to salivate
The sparkle of clean platter
Defiled by mains and side
Does lure me longing to my plate
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
Just a little something while I cooked dinner last night. It’s not great. I plan on revisions. Whatever input you have is appreciated.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-06-24 06:23
hello again...
this is a delightful piece! the title is okay. but the body of the poem sings! it flows really well. it is a subject that I had never considered before...I love that you wrote about this from the Iron pan's perspective. you carried it off so whimsically. great work! (I love your imagination)
*hugs, Cat
*
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And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-06-24 06:32
Aww
Thanks. It’s ok. I’ve been trying to write more about just observational type stuff. I do love my cast iron cookware and I don’t know if I could get certain results without it; specifically, like small beef loin medallions. I have perfected them. It was fun to write and I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s a very different meter for me so it was good practice all the way around
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-06-24 11:30
dear Tim,
have you ever written any senryu poetry? I would like to challenge you to write a senryu, are you up for it?
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-06-24 15:48
Challenge accepted
First thing in the morning
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-06-24 16:00
that's great!
remember you can write a senryu string (or chain) with several links(verses) thank you Tim, i hope you have fun with it!
*hugs, Cat & eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-06-24 17:16
All done
It’s all set. I’ll post it in the morning with my love and deepest regard for this whole community!
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-06-24 08:15
Nice Piece !
Apt yet very beautiful ! I love haiku poetry. It refrain from too many words and phrases. Thus, it is considered important to leave subtle overtones of haiku to the reader's own interpretation.
In sum, haiku represent the beauty of simplicity.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Fri, 2022-06-24 11:10
Cooking up some Haiku...
Traditionally, haiku is of three lines
the first and third lines are of five syllables
and the second is seven. But, we are not speaking
of traditional Haiku, and the restraints do not apply.
I like it as it is and purely for the differences from
regular poetry. As you have said; "It was good practice all the way around."
I did notice that you stuck to a meter of 6-6-8, [mostly].
There is one place where you did not.
"Chicken is thrown to the pan" -7
All-in-all, still very enjoyable, and it made me hungery earlier than lunch-time!
[Of course it doesn't take much these days!] Good stuff, ~ Geezer.
.
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Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-06-24 13:45
It’s not haiku
But it reads like it. It’s actually 6-6-8. I might break that pattern but the first stanza was that and I tried to match. I’ll post a simple haiku I composed to the stream tomorrow.
Tim
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-06-24 14:14
Alright
Noted! @ Rosewood
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Fri, 2022-06-24 23:15
Looking forward to it...
I am sure that I will be enchanted.~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.