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The waiting
waiting, always waiting
some to be born
others to die
rows upon rows of people
what is it all for
empty rooms with empty chairs
all to be filled with the ones waiting
Time travels in a Mobius strip
we travel the same path
endlessly floating between
past present and future
always waiting in time without end
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-25 16:22
jerry
I thank you kind sir
Chrys
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Geezer
Mon, 2020-05-25 16:06
The term...
that Jerry gives: "Tempus fugit" always reminds me of a vulgar thing we used to say in certain places. "Time; fk it!" But I guess that it applies here. If we allow it, time will get us all. I like the circle of time and time again; waiting to pounce on us. You certainly have a way with the entanglement of words. ~ Gee.
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-25 16:24
Gee
Entanglement? never thought of my writing in that way Thanks I think?
lol thanks for the read
Chrys
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Geezer
Tue, 2020-05-26 11:25
What I meant...
was that I was entangled in the words and felt them more keenly. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Gracy
Mon, 2020-05-25 17:50
I certainly like the Mobius
I certainly like the Mobius strip comparison, lynn. Yep, time catches up with us, no way out. Some sooner, others later. Some far too soon, as with my son who got ALS aged 24 and died aged 29 years.
No entanglement for me, enjoyed, despite the lurking of death for all of us.
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-25 19:50
Gracy
thank you I'm happy you got the mobius strip reference
Chrys
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c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-05-26 08:52
Teddy
and once again thank you
Chrys
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Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-26 11:58
The Waiting
Hello, Chrys,
I always appreciate learning here on Neopoet, and Mobius strip is the lesson for today. Great visual! This morning I made a phone call and was transferred 3 times, only to be disconnected and had to call again - very Mobius-like. I feel the waiting in your poem, there's a heaviness to it that really accentuates the endlessness.
Thank you!
L
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-05-26 15:22
lavender
I take it you looked up what a mobius strip is lol
thank you for reading I appreciate it
Chrys
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Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-26 17:28
Mobius
Hi, Chrys!
Yes! Google is my poetry pal!
L
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-05-26 20:32
ladies
lol
Chrys
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