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Petals Of Thebes
The distant roar
of approaching storms
like a thousand wild hooves
thundering through her dreams
of ancient warriors
from another time
as she sleeps
Wandering through dusty castle corridors
leading only to dead ends
and almost forgotten loves
the petals pulled
from their stems
lay dying on the battleground
of memories
Hushed utterings
of regret
fill the ear splitting silence
with metamorphic color
while she is lulled
Torrents of blood
falling like rain
over broken lives and sorrows
footfalls keep beat
with a pounding heart
so she weeps
the bitter bile of longing
Where on these yellow pages is it written
all ends in happily ever after
only in some romantic novel
read over and over again
As the reel of a silent movie
comes to a close
with the ticking
of the films end
and she dies
once again
Comments
c lynn brooks
Sat, 2020-05-02 08:54
A farrier? lol I didn't know
A farrier? lol I didn't know I had hooves
not only the nails but I have something going on with the nerves that cause a tremor in my hands
let me give the suggestion some thought. Thank you for your insight and reading I appreciate you looking over my work
Chrys
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Geezer
Sat, 2020-05-02 09:52
Nice stuff...
I love this almost Gothic style of work.
There are visions of huge, great castles and body littered
battlefields. Maybe just me, but I would use a question mark at the end of sentences as questions.
I don't think it hurts to do it and it certainly helps the reader to identify a question as they glance at the sentence.
Maybe at the last when she dies again, you could leave out the [and]? And it wouldn't hurt to put a mark to denote the films' possession.
Other than that, a superb write. ~ Geezer.
.
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-11 07:04
Gee
thaks for stopping in
the are no bodies only hearts
Chrys
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Geezer
Sun, 2020-05-03 10:59
Sorry...
just me. I saw bodies as the result for a battle for hearts. [You know me, always looking for the darkside]. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Sat, 2020-05-02 13:27
Teddy
as always you are too kind thank you
Chrys
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