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H.A.
Hazel eyes, bright smile.
Candied apple.
Sweet sweet succulence.
Collapsing from temptation.
Oh, Snow White darling.
Am I your poison apple?
Filling your body with my toxicity.
I want to know
What you have seen with your kind eyes.
The tears hidden so deep behind your radiant smile.
I want to know every inch of you,
Candied apple.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
This is about a vibrant girl, she caught my eye the first time I saw her I was instantaneously captivated by her.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2020-03-30 14:17
How sweet...
Does she know? A most excellent poem about an attraction that may go either way.~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Liberty Rayne
Mon, 2020-03-30 15:42
I’m so nervous to tell her,
Liberty Rayne
Mon, 2020-03-30 15:42
I’m so nervous to tell her,
I’m so nervous to tell her, we’re just friends right now, but I hope to tell her soon. Thankyou for you invitation! And your kind words. :)
Geezer
Thu, 2020-04-02 14:17
I wish...
you well. I hope things go as planned and you achieve your heart's desire. Fingers crossed! LoL. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Mon, 2020-03-30 14:24
I want to know What you have seen with your kind eyes.
LOVELY
Hazel eyes
HA
Liberty Rayne
Mon, 2020-03-30 15:43
Thankyou for your words ! I
Thankyou for your words ! I really appreciate them
Adrien Brook
Sun, 2020-08-16 00:24
Wowww. I'm really impressed
Wowww. I'm really impressed by the juxtaposed metaphors. 'Poison apple' and 'candied apple'. I find allusions to fairy tales a bit over-done often, but I think this originality really redeemed it for me. And on top of that, the fairy tale allusion does make sense for the theme.