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The Kerchief
Writing this letter with borrowed inks
In umbrageous hues of lonely evenings
Don't you read it at night thinking it's a dream of norm
As dreams often disappear with the advent of dawn
Sleep has lost its path today
Put out the moon if you can
On the way grab some clouds
Sow a warm blanket if you can
You aren't there yet here somewhere
Fogging up my eyes like breath on a mirror
My mind has locked its doors from the inside
And you keep knocking as a thought from the outside
Remember the white kerchief you had sewn
The one you kept next to your pillow at night
Whenever in rains the ceiling would cry
It still serves me well that kerchief you'd sewn
Whenever you fall from the corner of my eye
It helps to stop you on my face before nigh
But nowadays the rains don't pour like before
Now the ceiling doesn't cry anymore
Comments
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-09-30 04:16
Elim
It would be good if you put the translation up, and then wrote it in you own words, it reads like a parable, but a lot of the information has been lost in the translation and as poets we need to strive to make the writers point very clear.
I also write many things from reading books and make them my own by the way I express the poem.
Have a go at writing the feelings and what you gleaned from his write, the reasoning behind his thoughts, we can but try.
Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-09-30 04:17
NB
Sampooran Singh Kalra (born 18 August 1934, known popularly by his pen name Gulzar, is an Indian poet, lyricist and film director.
Born in Jhelum District in British India, his family moved to India after partition.
He started his career as a lyricist in the 1963 film Bandini and worked with many music directors including R. D. Burman, Salil Choudhury, Vishal Bhardwaj and A. R. Rahman. He directed films such as Aandhi and Mausam and TV series during the 1970s and 1980s.
Gulzar also wrote poetry, dialogues and scripts. He was awarded Padma Bhushan, the third-highest civilian award in India,[3] the Sahitya Akademi Award and the Dadasaheb Phalke Award — the highest award in Indian cinema. He has won several Indian National Film Awards, Filmfare Awards, one Academy Award and one Grammy Award.
With thanks to "Wiki"
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
eliminist
Thu, 2015-10-01 12:48
HI Ian
I have put the original piece in the notes below the poem - and have tried to translate it to the my level best. The original piece was written by me in Hindi as a tribute to Gulzar and I know a lot gets lost in translation especially many of the emotions and the subtle nuances but that cannot be helped. The poem is as literal a translation as I could have done, keeping a structure and rhymes etc
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-10-02 03:46
Elim
Echo having fun
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-10-02 03:47
Elim
Told Echo to go away,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-10-02 03:45
Elim
I do apologise I was under the impression that it was a work by Gulzar and that you had just translated it.
Being that it is totally your work you did an excellent job.
I look forward to your next pieces and your partaking in the everyday Neopoet works, such as critique and replies to others.
Great to have you with us, take care out there,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
raj
Thu, 2015-10-01 15:05
I can relate to your poem..
I can relate to your poem...did you mean sewn instead of sown?
raj (sublime_ocean)
eliminist
Thu, 2015-10-01 23:08
Yes Sir :)
Yes Sir :)
What did u think of the hindi version
raj
Fri, 2015-10-02 14:20
There is one more "sown" at
There is one more "sown" at the end of line 4 in concluding stanza. Not being critical, kust bringing it to your attention
Hindi version of course is very rich as expected from Gulzar ..
raj (sublime_ocean)
eliminist
Fri, 2015-10-02 19:21
Aah yes
I missed that - the hindi version is one of my personal favorites and so subconsciously I did not pay much attention to perfecting the English one.
Thanks for pointing out the error and for taking the time to read and appreciate the poem Sir :)