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WHEN THE FROST BITES
The heart of my car has been broken,
It happens on wintery nights,
Its radiator choking,
Had split all its hoses and pipes,
The only things there that were working,
Were its radio, wipers and lights,
But I wondered what else has been lurking,
Discovered just when the frost bites.
The grass on my lawn snaps and crackles,
And walking it gets me uptight,
It happens to me on wintery dawns,
That follow their bitter cold nights,
And they say that the cold does not make one feel old,
But instead makes us bristle and bright,
But I disagree with what I've been told,
These happen just when the frost bites.
There is ice on the side of the building,
We must melt it before the daylight,
And then dry it off with rags and a cloth,
To prepare for our painters delight.
And all of this work is together,
An accumulation of terrible plight,
It happens to me as you plainly can see,
On days just when the frost bites.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2023-02-04 09:15
That bites! ...
A well told story, that makes one want to know more about your work.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Poets Hand
Sat, 2023-02-04 15:27
when the frost bites
Thank you for taking the time to read my poem When the Frost bites. These are all things that I have experienced when the frost bites. I hope others can identify with them too
Thank you again
Poets Hand
Hannah
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:26
Good timing
Really well done. Paints a clear picture of these scenes. Again it has a steady gallop to it.
Good job,
Tim
Poets Hand
Sat, 2023-02-04 15:33
when the frost bites
Thank you . I tried to make the poem something that people could relate to easily.
These are all common experiences The poem does not have any hidden meaning other than saying "this is what I have gone through how about you."
Thank you once again.
Poets Hand
Hannah
author commentRoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:48
Good flow
I think my car felt much like yours in the first stanza this morning. Well done!
~RoseBlack~
Poets Hand
Sat, 2023-02-04 16:12
when the frost bites
Thank you for your kind comments. My goal was to be identifiable to those who read the poem. It is good that I have achieved this goal but I don't want this goal to become a curse that it might affect the reader in any real or physical experience. I hope the frost does not affect your car too poorly.
BTW I loved your poem "In My Element"
Best Regards
Poets Hand
Hannah
author commentLavender
Sat, 2023-02-04 19:26
When The Frost Bites
This is relatable in every way you've shown us. I've enjoyed this very much!
Lavender
Poets Hand
Sat, 2023-02-04 19:41
when the frost bites
Thank you for your kind remarks. I am pleased that a few moments of my time to create a poem can cause a smile to those who read it.
Your positive viewpoint encourages me.
By the way I enjoyed reading your poem about the speed of ignorance. In a few words you sum up a world of examples of just that.
Once again Thank yyou
Poets Hand
Hannah
author commentLavender
Sat, 2023-02-04 19:49
Hello, Hannah,
Thank you so much!
L
Jackweb
Sat, 2023-02-18 15:42
Cars helps us...
to retain mobility but one cannot predict it's disappointing time especially when in use. Well told indeed.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Poets Hand
Sat, 2023-02-18 16:28
when the frost bites
Thank you Jackweb for the comment and for reading my poem. Thank you for your opinion on mobility.
Poets Hand
Hannah
author comment