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What We Do To Each Other
I cannot tell you that I'm right,
nor can I say you're wrong.
Our lives, so short,
our views, so narrow,
our differences, so strong.
We live on one Earth, all together,
we share a sun and moon.
Yet, here we fear,
here we struggle
to use our time, so opportune,
to say the words, "I do not know,
and do not understand
what makes you, you,
what makes me, me,
still, I offer you my hand."
We're fed the fear that hate begets,
the arrogant, the blind.
And so we fight,
and so we swear
leaving tolerance behind.
I cannot say that you are wrong,
nor can I say I'm right.
I'm tired, I'm weary,
sad and dismayed,
too beaten down to fight.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
We create one lousy division after another...
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-04-21 21:36
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, titled "What We Do To Each Other," presents a powerful message about the importance of empathy and understanding in a world where differences can often lead to conflict. The speaker acknowledges the limitations of their own perspective, recognizing that they cannot claim to be entirely right or that others are entirely wrong. The repetition of this sentiment throughout the poem emphasizes the need for humility and openness in our interactions with others.
The poem's structure is straightforward, with simple stanzas and a consistent rhyme scheme. This simplicity reflects the clarity of the message being conveyed. However, the poem's rhythm can feel somewhat stilted at times, with uneven line lengths and stresses that disrupt the flow of the verses.
One suggested line edit to improve the poem's rhythm and pacing would be to change "too beaten down to fight" in the final stanza to "too weary now to fight." This slight alteration would create a smoother transition from the previous line and add a sense of finality to the poem's tone.
Overall, "What We Do To Each Other" is an effective poem that encourages readers to consider the importance of empathy and understanding in their interactions with others. While the poem's structure could benefit from some revision, its message is clear and impactful.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
Fri, 2023-04-21 21:48
Thank you, AI.
Gonna stick with "beaten" because that is what we do...
L
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2023-04-22 21:00
This has...
an odd kind of rhythm, but it's consistent.
I like the assertion that "I cannot say that you are wrong,
nor can I say I'm right". I understand the feeling that sometimes
we feel too tired of all the discord, and just want to pass, but in
the end, we must share this world with all the rest of humanity and we must
make the best of it. Learning to be aware of the differences and tolerant
makes a big difference. Good job! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Sat, 2023-04-22 21:25
Hello, Geezer,
Yes. So many divisions, misdirected energy, and wasted time.
Thank you for reading. Appreciated!
L
author commentBill Cushing
Wed, 2023-06-07 01:23
Reaction
What could have easily passed as standard ascends that category by presenting a "prayer" of sorts here. Nice.
Lavender
Wed, 2023-06-07 11:42
Hello, Bill,
Felt a little dismayed this particular day - definitely felt like an intercession.
Thank you for reading!
L
author commentBill Cushing
Wed, 2023-06-07 15:25
Yeah but
Two things stand out to me. . .
First, the religious structure that harkens to either a prayer or the call-and-response nature of services.
Second, the use of "we" is a sort of entendre in that it could a specific couple or people in general.
Lavender
Wed, 2023-06-07 15:48
The magic of poetry!
I wrote this as an emotional reaction to the divisions and prejudice in society. Never occurred to me that it could be interpreted as an interaction between two people. I can see it now, though! All through the eyes of the reader...
L
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