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What I Keep Saying to Myself

Submitted by Rula on Wed, 2017-02-08 03:09

I'll smile if the days
went ill with rhymes
or if their rhythm
went rough or soft

I'll badly try
to sing my song,
and stay but calm,
both bold and strong.

I'll keep the flow;
the uplifting tune,
and be as cool
as autumn's noon.

and summon the words
to unspell the curse,
and fill my days
with a blissful verse.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Thu, 2017-02-09 23:52

Esker's picture

'went rough or soft

i'll badly try
to sing my song
and stay but calm
both bold and strong

i'll keep the flows
uplifting tune
to be as cool
as autumns noon

ill summon words
unspell the curse
to fill these days
with graces worth

Rula...I greatly love your
work....as I do here sometimes
I mere rework or reword
the works of original

i greatly appreciate your
poetic talents and critiques
wanted to put up my own
here...

thank U...
here in my city
the moon shines
behind its veil of moving
clouds...cold ...but
beautiful on the crystalline
light and with misted
stars..

thank U Rula
Mr Wolf!

Rula

Mon, 2017-02-13 14:45

Rula's picture
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I love how you played with my piece.
Always appreciate your kind visit and the comment.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

eightmenout

Tue, 2017-02-14 10:06

Just stopped by to have a read. It's pretty solid although the pacing could use some work. Although, I get a sense that could be intentional.

Scott

Scott

Rula

Sun, 2017-02-26 06:10

Rula's picture
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Always great to see old friends reading me. I'm sorry for the late reply. Unfortunately poetry is never again a priority. I'm struggling to write some words these days. Life is always getting in the way.
Again many thanks to your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Rula

Sun, 2017-02-26 06:02

Rula's picture
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Thank you dear for reading and the coment. As I saidto Steve, I will see soon how can I improve this piece.
Highly appreciate your kind visit

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Esker

Fri, 2017-02-24 21:21

Esker's picture

old neo buds now.....I like the way you see things
your poetry is extremely visual
and ...a..oh..a thought just came into me
This just in....
what if for some people...if trust is not their
thing...smashed dashed tricked out of them
they live through seeing..
what if visual perception IS feeling for some..
wow..hmmm

not a new theory.
still....

okay..your descriptions and detailing of what
you see is wonderful...

just the trailer...

if english is not your first language
my brother in law is french
some buds speak cree
others ojibway
some polish
some russian
stop there...
i know many
im a people person
not a nationalist
except to say if im
on a land..i respect
the order...
like Jesus said....
pay ceasar what ceasar
is due...

i am not very bright
math...languages...memory
work a blur...but I love
-people from far away
everyone who travelled
said I would have made
an amazing traveller
...was a nice compliment

i write abstract and when
my friends spoke it was in
english but the nuances
of how they express in their
own tongue was mind blowing
words...to me..were feelings
...visual cues were feelings..
more on this idea later...

words are sculpted from our
heart anyway right?
not about the way of its shape
in a language profile...

I am looking at works entirely
different now!

thank U rula..
Mr Wolf!

Rula

Sun, 2017-02-26 06:00

Rula's picture
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Mr. Wolf
Your encouraging words mean the world to me.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Keith Logan

Sat, 2017-02-25 05:18

Keith Logan's picture
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as usual from your talented pen. You must tell me where to buy one like it. Rula, I realise you have moved on to other web sites where you probably feel more appreciated but I hope you will continue to pop in here occasionally.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Rula

Sun, 2017-02-26 05:57

Rula's picture
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How kind of you to say what you have said. Coming from an accomplished poet like you, it is doubly appreciated. Neo has a very special place in my heart. It is here where I have really grown up with my poetry.
Appreciate your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Esker

Sat, 2017-02-25 13:25

Esker's picture

which rhymes with the rest of the paragraph...
however...
the polish isnt it...
is it...
the texture is the profile left hanging
whom cannot adore the softness of the rose
without the respect of the thorn
its dignity defined
such is the work

Thank U Rula

Mr Wolf1

Rula

Sun, 2017-02-26 05:52

Rula's picture
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I think this would be a brilliant ending AND you are a wonderful person. I can't thank you enough for whatever you present for everyone here.
I'll revisit this work soon.
Thank you, thank you so much! !!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

alidzain

Wed, 2017-03-08 04:06

alidzain's picture

I agree with everyone. Love the way you styled it. I didn't write much english poems these days as I'm busy writing malay poems. Good write.

Alid

Rula

Wed, 2017-03-08 16:13

Rula's picture
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My pleasure.
Wish you the best.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Sparrow

Sun, 2017-03-12 05:19

Sparrow's picture
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It is lovely to read this it depicts a sense of stability, a way of thinking in this day and age of turmoil.
Lovely to see you stream again you have been missed by all.
Yours as always Ian.x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Rula

Mon, 2017-03-13 17:55

Rula's picture
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many thanks. Much appreciate it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment
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