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Welcome Home

Submitted by paleoray on Tue, 2024-09-10 18:02

Oh child of God you’re coming home at last
To rise again in glorious jubilation;
Today you’ve left all sorrows in the past,
To walk in light to your own coronation.

What have you done to make the angels sing?
What have you done to raise each pearly rafter?
What have you done to cause God’s bells to ring?
What have you done up there in the hereafter?

For as I see God’s glory rest on you,
I wonder how you’ve learned to beam so brightly?
For while your features now are all brand new,
A light above your head glows ever lightly.

I do not understand what you have done -
I do not know what caused the angel’s choices;
But all I know is praising has begun
In all of Heaven through song with thunderous voices.

And then I hear God laughing on His throne,
And then I see Christ jump with His feet prancing;
All majesty gives tribute of their own -
Because of you, Their joy is filled with dancing.

“Well done servant,” God says to you above -
“Well done toiler for firm faith through life’s testing.
“Come now and live forever in my love,
And share with me eternal peace and resting.”

Then all at once great volumes come with praise,
As angels come with trumpets and while singing -
“All glory be to God throughout all days,
And honor be His name forever ringing!!”

At that God comes with crown of gold and red,
While there you kneel in white before His glowing;
Then after crown is placed upon your head,
He holds you there forever with love flowing.

Last few words: 
A poetic depiction of heaven and the great and glorious homecoming for all God’s children.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
09/24 Homecoming
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-09-11 00:02

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem demonstrates a strong command of rhyme and meter, adhering to a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme throughout and maintaining a steady iambic pentameter. This consistency lends a rhythmic quality to the poem that enhances its overall readability and flow.

The poem also effectively utilizes religious imagery and language to convey its themes of redemption, divine love, and eternal peace. The repeated questions in the second stanza, for instance, create a sense of mystery and awe around the subject's transformation, while the descriptions of God and Christ in the later stanzas evoke a sense of divine joy and celebration.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could potentially be improved. Firstly, the language and imagery, while evocative, can sometimes feel a bit clichéd. Phrases like "God’s glory," "angel’s choices," and "crown of gold and red" are common in religious poetry, and their use here doesn't add much that's new or unique to the poem. Experimenting with more original or unexpected imagery could help to make the poem more distinctive and engaging.

Secondly, the poem's message and themes are quite explicit, leaving little room for interpretation or ambiguity. While this isn't necessarily a problem, it does limit the poem's potential to engage readers on a deeper level. Introducing more subtlety or complexity into the poem's themes could make it more thought-provoking and rewarding to read.

Lastly, the poem's tone is consistently reverential and awe-struck, which suits its themes but can also make it feel somewhat monotonous. Varying the tone, perhaps by introducing moments of doubt, conflict, or tension, could make the poem more dynamic and emotionally resonant.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Fri, 2024-09-13 20:52

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Hello, paleoray,
A sincere "Hallelujah!" A joyful poem, and an intriguing entry to the contest.
Thank you!
L

Tawny023

Sat, 2024-09-14 12:18

The ultimate prayer is to be righteous in God’s eye My favorite line: all I know is praising has begun , because after reading this poem all I can do is give praise to you the poet for a job well done. Thank you for allowing this message to come from your hand.

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