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Shore Watch

Submitted by paleoray on Tue, 2024-08-20 10:24

Splashing, crashing sound the waves
On the surf and then retrieve;
As the foam spreads on the sand,
While the pipers dash and weave.

High above the seagulls glide,
Circling 'round a sea of teal;
Others swooping close to pier,
Looking for an easy meal.

In the distance dolphins dive,
With their synchronizing breaks;
Dorsal fins shine at each peak,
Then they submerge in their wakes.

Sand crabs scurry back and forth,
Seeking food along the shore;
After catching fish with claws,
Quick they vanish as they bore.

Soon the sun sets in the west,
As the moon brings mirrored light;
Ocean tides smooth out the sand,
While the waves gleam through the night.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
08/24 Beach Day
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-08-20 16:24

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Shore Watch" beautifully captures the serene and dynamic nature of the shoreline. The imagery of the waves, seagulls, dolphins, and sand crabs creates a vivid picture of the coastal environment. The use of descriptive language helps to paint a clear picture in the reader's mind.

One suggestion for improvement would be to consider varying the rhyme scheme or meter to add more musicality and flow to the poem. This could help create a more engaging rhythm for the reader and enhance the overall reading experience.

Additionally, you may want to explore incorporating more sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene. Descriptions of the sounds, smells, and textures of the shore could help to deepen the reader's connection to the setting.

Overall, "Shore Watch" is a lovely poem that effectively captures the beauty of the seaside. By experimenting with rhyme, meter, and sensory details, you can further enhance the richness of the imagery and create a more immersive experience for the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Wed, 2024-08-21 22:05

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Hello, Paleoray,
I enjoyed this delightful day at the beach! Plenty of action and great imagery.
Thank you!
L

paleoray

Sat, 2024-08-31 16:43

paleoray's picture

Thank you my friend for your kind words. I am very glad that you enjoyed my poem.

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Rula

Sat, 2024-08-24 14:23

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I very much enjoyed the vivid imagery and the rhyme scheme that both work hand in hand to enhance the beauty of the day. You make it an enjoyable day for the reader as usual.
Thank you for sharing
Best wishes.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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paleoray

Sat, 2024-08-31 16:44

paleoray's picture

I am so glad that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you again for your kind words.

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