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War Talk

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Thu, 2023-10-12 20:59

"I see you on the other side
of our parents' intolerance and violence.
I think we could be friends somewhere else."

"Can we go there sometime soon?"

"I don't know if it's possible, but I hope so.
I have to go now I hear more rockets coming.
So, I'll see you tomorrow I hope."

"I'd like that very much."

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Inspired by a recent Banksy image about the strife in Israel and Gaza.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lamington

Fri, 2023-10-13 11:18

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Line 2: the apostrophe goes AFTER the s in parents.

Lavender

Fri, 2023-10-13 15:02

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Hello, Michael,
An offering of hope...
L

Geezer

Sat, 2023-10-14 00:31

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as I've seen, in so few words. Your title is great!
I love the theme, and it flowered in a mere few seconds to a hope for peace, amidst war, and love for one and other, no matter what our religion or political stand is. Terrorism is not a religion; it is a deliberate attack on defenseless populations. An effort to intimidate. Not the act of a "desperate for justice person." One of a certain number that have written about conflicts; this work, encompasses it all in so little time. Niceley done. ~ Geez.
.

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