one side of character..the other threw that away
and ran with it
later I met others the same
I thought they were reckless
but no.....
they just lived

thanks Jayne!

been watching the old fave rock vids..stones at altamont doing Under my Thumb
and woodstock Santana...Grace Slick...Beck with the Yardbirds...those songs
were about the same stuff today..only its hip hop and pop..
more grind music but still a show...Bounce for example...and Brittaney I still
Love... Nick Cave with his music telling tales in the tunes....dark intense and
wonderful...Leonard Cohen the same....Patti Smith..PJ Harvey...
Doors..morrison with the carnival music and great drum guitar work
for Gloria and Moonlight Drive etc..

nice when the bottles are empty!
I never understood lyrics or movies till late..attention mental thing...
my women friends...lovers..walked me through..explaining it
had not much social interaction till last few high school years
worked through panic attacks etc and just made a stand in the
socially dominate cafeteria....but soon like here and on another
site and downtown these days had my little pack of entertainers
thinkers..tinkerers....tinks nickname was from taking breaks
stop the car..find a tree...any long distance trip...
no she is not real...but based on a person i just met
who is forward...well dressed...from the rough side of the tracks
but refined enough to be acceptable in larger sophisticated
snobby crowds...

finally I get rock music..lyrics..entertainers per say
got a few on twitter i like...
i look like many people and represent much
the native look..the beard..long hair and leathers
with stuff painted on them...
some say i look vintage sixties..hells angels
and I checked the black and whites of them
and sure enough....tis true enough
the long hair lets me cycle through the narcotica
crowd although that was not my thing
preferering to drink..and drink alone
but they let me in....
and when they come up to me and say i look
this this guy or that guy...or say hello to me
thinking im this other guy I just smile..
im hoping he gets my friends saying the same
thing to him...strange how the twin theory works
like a helix of ideology and purpose...
hes a hard heavy..but then in my own way
with the intelligence work i do and my own
street beat patrol thing....No i am not law
enforcement nor military but know a few
i just know many systems cause i like
systems.....like people even
working the crowd..be it a tiny little bar
is something...working an entire city
is another thing....but we know the
characters we get patterened into seeing
following...word bytes of wisdom or madness
or that trickster think humor...
for some reason on another site all the
sub females or dom females like me
wasnt into this stuff but the up and coming
new wave of young people explained it all
im old....but its rome and be amongst the
romans...

what else....i can be sitting poverty stricken
one moment and the next sitting shotgun
with a woman in her big bad truck cruising
about listening to her music
or in another vehicle doing a big errand run
different cities.....
grasping the immediacy of it...
being like a trail captian..
I liked gary in forest gump welcoming bubba
and forest to vietnam....that kind of take charge
approach..and gunny in full metal jacket....
he was real..he was there so he is authentic
and the biker show...Sons of Anarchy...one of
the actors actually is or was a biker...
same with Sopranos...mr walnuts was is real..
lot of my writing is based on people....
i was on the road for about five years..not long
but it was chock a block a mile of intense day to
day.....those bars were working bars....good bad
ugly all hung there to relax...the nuetral R and R
places in one of the most beautiful settings
of intense wealth...old school names....
i am a character..this voice...these eyes......
and when people came to me for a dance
the trophy wives...u give respect..you dance
not all take her over....and i listened to the
safe non heavy intel chats of people..like the
chaplan charlie...and i wore black........i am
forbidden to wear white..and although i had
a 'wallet' a diagnostic term for the work i
paid for everything myself...
keeping it humble to the ground as i could
all bosses i ever worked for dug in...

i ended up working for the ladies
errand runs...rub their tired feet...we did
this for my mom...a nurse assistant
she did all our cooking..laundry..and would
kick anyones ass bothering us and teach
us about lifes lessons...keep us as trouble
free as she could..father too..or dad
as we just called him...

years later i ended up working on their backs
no funny stuff..just straight work...they would
trade food...treats of that nature and other
if they were in the biz of candy..nothing
heavy......the older ones same deal...
sons were top gamblers....or tops in jail
for the time moment...taking the rap for
someone else...the way life goes on the other
side..not all black and white nor rigtheous
my backs aching today..lower end from
riding the bike...leaning forward on the ride
and i was in the shower with the heat on
thinking...damn..i remember the women
asking me to work on em when they
were aching during that time...no wonder
they were happy!! they would bring me
coffees or little trinkets..shiny stuff like
lighters...pack of smokes
and juicy intel....
would help them with their hair
hold the mirror doing make up
sounds creepy but not
no different then helping my dude friends
work on cars.....hold the flashlight
polish the aluminum parts
torque the new ported heads out
on the small block v eights going into
sixty eight ss chevs...
shit like that....

i dont write about romance
per say.....but i have it
the ladies see that now
im pretty secure and grounded
with just enough nuttiness to
be open to their ideas about
what they like..
and todays ladies are not shy
many like tall men
and im not judgemental about
size and age appropriate of
course.....
i am fun...i take dour looking
dominate photos
hell..missing two teeth
but just me face...
blah blah...
thanks man
I like people that roll
and rock with life
Love the van gogh flowers
sending this

Mr I live life Wolf