this handset is heavy
comforting as a handgun
I toggle the switch and
hear some hum and
static
Outside the switcher hisses
its air dryer and rumbles
a content fever
I push the dirty speaker to
my ear already greasy
from a four day run
and dig in the old precious
coins...check their faces
carefully like old friends

and the operator comes
on..Please hang up and
try your call again..
I always do that
faces fascinate me
those going by slowly
on this cold night too
draw my shallow eyes
in this dim flickering light
toggle the switch
twice now..well thats
good luck
drop the coins in hearing
them clank through
almost...one gets stuck
I give it the heel of an
impatient man

Phone rings twice
and gets picked up

and you are there
the gentle tired voice
of an angel
with the child in the
background
our hellos and the
regular talk to the
young one before
returning to you
"I'm freezing my ass
off baby" "can you
here the switcher
over here?"

I can hear the television
the happiness to talk
we have briefly seen one
another in passing in
the store....she is pretty
she likes that Im older
and that Im tall

the wind blows ice crystals
across the parking lot
from the lake..I can smell
the trains exhaust
and the people in the
cars at the lights are all
just shadows
staring at me
I dont even have a damned
toque
I am not supposed to be
here...
supposed to be at a meeting
but we meet
always from the same phone
sometimes its damp and
raining...once the phone
was busted

we talk about meeting
a bit about what we really
like
but nearing christmas
we just quit talking
my girlfriend finds out
shes pissed
has an affair

the phone calls were
okay...felt nice
i didnt get to talk to
my kid anymore

my pissed off girlfriends
kid hadnt arrived yet
life like the wind
and the phones sometimes
was just messed up

you look at the faces
of the value of what you
have feeling indifferent
letting the voice lead
you long.....being the
voice leading long

"I'll get back to you Kris
and hey kid...Shannon'll
come over and read you
on of those books your
mommy reads you!! yah
that'll be great!"

and I hang up

and I never use that phone
again....and In time they remove
it and a few of the smaller old
buildings..repair the street
and put up something new

I live with my girlfriend and kid
and don't know where the
other temporary friends went

every winter near christmas I
pass the remaining phone
downtown and wonder
you want happiness
but sometimes just end up
messing up peoples idea
of what you want

..