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T A B A R E T

Submitted by Esker on Tue, 2012-03-27 00:42

your mouth slips phrases
through bruised nights
stars upon your flicks
and at your sides
the worry shadows
keep like windows
locked

milkweed sweet
the monarch drinks
beneath the fat eye
of this sordid dream

a heavens creature
rapture rests
music of chimes
the wavelength nest
spun cup the thoughts
of stirring dark
and rising star

where magic and illusion
mix

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-03-28 02:06

weirdelf's picture
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meaning nothing to me.

As often I am probably being stupid.

Give me a hint as to meaning.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Wed, 2012-03-28 07:24

Esker's picture

would be spoiling the peice to elaborate as I once did
Im liking this not explaining in peices following my works
as it was pointed to me by you and others

maybe some poets can delve into this one and find
some abstract comprehension to them
my works are after all intimate and elaborate shorts

I tend to push myself in creating and writing and in
the past reading works that are not just the norm

thank you

author comment

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-03-28 10:04

weirdelf's picture
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good on you.
If the poetry does not stand on its own, it is not poetry.

The again, you may be creating a new form. A poem after a poem is extraordinarily avant garde. I am a radical with conservative tendencies. Perhaps you can pursue it.

I am no arbiter of form. Do what feels right.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-29 07:41

Esker's picture

for poetry yes
angles not written
poets can feel them

and some have written them

Thank You

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-03-28 10:00

Ian.T's picture
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The only thing I can think of, having looked at the title word, is something that is covered by this material and that gives off light and the secrets of those that lay on it, if so very secretly written ????
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-29 07:39

Esker's picture

it sounds quest like
a search for the hue of a meaning
not readily found
and knowledge of ritual

Thank You

author comment

Kailashana2

Wed, 2012-03-28 10:14

For me, a poem needs to draw out an emotion. (Other than insipid or ho hum boring.) I think you clicked on Esker...avant garde.

Tons of unique and original metaphors, is it Inspiring, evoking something deeper? Each reader has to digest Esker's poem to where "magic and illusion mix".

~A

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-29 07:38

Esker's picture

I like this word it revolves about the use of function
meaning our brain our soul our heart our thoughts
these are the things I find when reading also

Thank You

author comment

loved

Thu, 2012-03-29 04:42

loved's picture

I have heard of cabarets not seen one, except in flicks

where magic and illusion
mix

A Nero swings his guitar
and
upon shaded lips
falls a star
and
that's what I can see your poem
from this far

when Rome was burning
he said no one told him
so you remain silent too
please do.

read it with a punch of salt
now I know
what a tabaret is
thanks to you...
humour is my spice

loved

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-29 07:36

Esker's picture

these lines are an immense poem Loved
"and upon shaded lips
talls a star"

I love your line work and originality
of arrangement in short works like
that in for lines

Thank Y ou'''

author comment

loved

Thu, 2012-03-29 11:05

loved's picture

When you are in front of my eyes

I forget the whole world
as much as sky high
and
think of you
what must be traversing
the universe,
past your mind
when you poemise
so much in riddle and rhyme…
they say only the bells chime
but no it’s your thoughts too
that poetry comes so naturally to you
I only try to emulate
and
not knowing poetic nuances
seemingly formulate
and
my solitary mind does sweet lines dictate
but some usually one does say
FA.

loved

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-29 07:33

Esker's picture

my passion simmering
curiosity not set aside
Is it schools ending that tells
me to put my mind on idle?
no
is it society that tells me to stop
thinking or creating?
no

New words like new days
arrive..new freinds and new
poetry

Thank You!

author comment

Proprietress of...

Fri, 2012-03-30 17:01

Proprietress of Crimson Hearts's picture

I want to lie down
and fall asleep
inside
this poem

and dream

loved

Fri, 2012-03-30 20:04

loved's picture

Such adept poesy

We all missed
till this moment .
Hope the magic and illusion
will intermix
and
create a dream,
as the inner voice
for more does scream

loved

Esker

Fri, 2012-03-30 20:43

Esker's picture

Ere I be
the belonging want
and finding none
but a taste for the dark edged place
in heart and mind

beneath the cold fire of night
and her magi stars for the
wanderers to gauge

where angels shepherd the sleeping
lay
ghosts whisper
what they say
.....

author comment
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