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The Superior Moment (Prose Revision)

I tend to think in past and future.
My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment.
The superior moment is happening now.
The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost

My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur,
in the omnipotent future.
I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it,
without further thoughts of what was or will be.

That for me is true freedom.
What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later.
The thoughts of many voices debating in one space,
seem to falter on solid ground.

The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience,
with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning.
What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness.
The silence in my head is the only thing of true value,
in this Superior Moment which I am living,
NOW!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Taoist thinking...
Editing stage: 

Comments

it really would make more sense to format it as prose.

Let's see that then I'll read it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Agreed!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I Like the idea,
but the first stanza and the second one had me confused, as they seemed to conflict meaning,
but then I understand what was intended, by the word "Superior" on the 2nd stanz-
So i think I got it,
This could have been a little clearer for me,
but otherwise
yeh great!

reintroduced.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

The problem of writing about "now" is that as soon as it's typed it's gone lol. I think you might retitle this as poetic prose or free verse as prose is written with punctuation and in the same manner as this comment if I'm not mistaken................stan

You are not, at that just passed. LOL

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I tend to think in past and future. My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment. The superior moment is happening now. The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost.

My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur, in the omnipotent future. I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it, without further thoughts of what was or will be.

That for me is true freedom. What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later. The thoughts of many voices debating in one space, seem to falter on solid ground.

The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience, with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning. What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness. The silence in my head is the only thing of true value, in this Superior Moment which I am living, NOW!

Yes it is prose, Eddie, and good interesting prose. No way of breaking into lines really changes that.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thanks for the return visit, I hear you. I just thought to break into the thought of each paragraphs for continuity.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

and well written.

Now write some poetry.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It absolutly is just that.
I am not looking for followers, I am just voicing my thoughts on the simplicity of it. I try to avoid stress, but never a good logic arguement.
thanks again Bud.
Eddie
...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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