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A Study In Pink SECTION 12

Closing time at the tavern, Guy French is about.
Questioning Anabel Lee, she saw something, no doubt.
"How do you know Fitzroy," He thundered, as she cleaned up the bar.
Rolling her eyes, Anabel smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Losing his patience, Guy took a deep breath.
"You're new here, I checked you out. Funny thing is, no one knows what you're about."
Anabel shrugged. "So that makes me a killer? Mystery doesn't give you mens rea."
"Someone said that you saw the knife. Were you there when Fitzroy lost his life?"

"You're a detective, my dear French, why bother asking? You've already established reasonable doubt."
Shaking his head, Guy pulled out the stops. "Your obstinance leaves me no choice. I have to call you out."
"Call me what?" Anabel sneered as she shut off the lights. "Go home, Detective. It's been a long night."
"What happened in your home town, Anabel Lee? Why did you leave so fast? You can't outrun the past!"

Anabel stepped in front of Guy, standing chest to chest. "I had drinks with Fitzroy before he breathed his last."
"Now we're getting somewhere." Guy said with a grin. "Did something go wrong?"
She shook her head as Guy continued. "Was he more than just a friend?"
"That's impossible. I don't go that route. If you really must know, my name used to be Jim."

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

As I expected. She's a deviant too.( is that is the right word)?
I have noticed that Anabel is still in the bar while she is supposed to be in the investigation room. I also noticed that Anable and French are using a friendly tone with each other, was that intended?

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was supposed to be using friendly, persuasive techniques to get Anabel to talk but she was being difficult/sarcastic. It is a technique used by investigators in an actual interrogation to filter a confession out of a suspect. If you notice, when he starts to get frustrated, he starts to play hardball and his tone changes. He is now almost threatening to dig deep into her past and expose it if she doesn't begin telling the truth, since he knows she is not saying what her role is in all of this. Yes, she is deviant. I chose to have French go to her comfort zone in hopes to get her to speak to him, rather than drag her to see Mackwill or throw her in an interrogation room. Sometimes you will see investigators say we can do this here or down at the station. Also things were getting tense between the two, Anabel was standing chest to chest with him, almost confrontational when she said she had drinks with Fitzroy. did you catch the twist at the end?

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

you are setting up the pace well. Now I'm asking what kind of relationship that she has with the victim? I expect the otherdetective to question the other witness...

Alid

catch the twist at the end? We now know she was not romantically involved with the victim, so that sets the stage for some possibilities. It could have just been a friendship forming, could be a business relationship, will have to see what direction the other writers go in and where I can connect the dots from there. I expect the other detective will be involved with other witnesses and suspects. She may even question Anabel as well. We don't know what Guy French is going to do with this information Anabel gave him at the end. Is he going to keep it secret or is he going to expose it in order to try and get a confession out of her, whether it is a true confession or not?

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

However, if I'm supposed to continue from this, the story will be that Annabel met the victim because both of them are associated with John Creel in a business alliance and were involved in his plans to sabotage the man's business. When their plan keeps on failing, John Creel decided to sacrifice one of them and used Annabel to throw off the investigation, prolonging it so that Macwill's business will suffer. Alas, his thugs grabbed the wrong man. None of them realized that the crime has attracted Mog to the area. At least, that's what I will continue the story if its my turn....What do you think?

Alid

because everyone's first impression is there must be something romantic/sexual between Anabel and the victim, now we know differently because she is really a he (more on that later) with his/her own motives. I like where you are going with this. I look forward to seeing your write.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

Now you are suggesting that Anabel could be confusing Guy French by telling him that she is in fact a he....question is if Guy French would demand a proof to verify if what she has revealed is true. The only way could be to request her to go for a physical sex determination test. Not sure if it was allowed in 1888. I am also left wondering why in the first place Jim donned the mantle of a female (Anabel)????

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

This is part of her secret, of course there was no sex changes in 1888, so she obviously would still have male body parts, hence why she was not romantically involved with Fitzroy. There is a reason why she has taken on the identity of a woman, other than being transgendered, and that will be revealed later on. My hopes is to have Guy French do some more digging to reveal who Anabel/Jim actually is, what happened where he/she lived and that is what sparked the sudden move to London. It still does not necessarily make her Fitzroy's killer but it certainly does make her look pretty guilty.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

Annabel is a man name Jim transvestite

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Srely you have pricked everyone's ears here, not just of Guy French..lol

raj (sublime_ocean)

There is more to come...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

Boy! it seems you have some more surprises up your sleeve. Patience eh! I will try :)

raj (sublime_ocean)

Be careful, Anabel is not one of our witnesses. We need their take on this. Who did they see? Don't be afraid to reveal it. Knowing who the killer is and catching them is not the same thing and how does Mog fit into this. I have alluded that he possessed Mackwil that he might commit the crime and give Mog the emotional rush he needs. If this is not the case, how did Mackwill come into possession of the murder weapon without knowing it?
Again... be bold. We're beginning to get some poets who are willing to "change" things in order to tell the tale. We are in complication now, so complicate things, but take care to use what has gone before. Once it is in the Main Thread it is in granite.

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Eluded that anabel saw the knife or at least was present somehow when Fitz Roy died. I played off of that a bit to enhance her guilt. I doubt she witnessed the murder but she did see him before it happened. We will see.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

has been around it has seen about everything including the fact that a lot of whores (annabel?) specialize in oral sex. Thus a female impersonator could also well be a whore and if annabel is such she would doubtless also have a pimp or madame. This thing is getting stranger and stranger. It seems each post opens up more possibilities lol

I like the concept anabel could be a transvestic whore. The woman in her description could be her madame. This gives me new ideas...stranger it is...but the possibility is endless. Wes...I am good with posting this to main thread.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

I like the twist.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Had to do something so it wasn't so predictable, all while keeping in mind the time period. I am not as savvy with 19th century London but I imagine some of the basic investigative techniques were used then and I am sure there were sexuality issues that were just not spoken of....it will be great to see where this goes from here...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment
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