welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you. so you are a southern boy. me and my husband lived in Georgetown Texas for awhile. close to Austin, a lovely place for music! than his company sent us to Colorado. after that we ended up in Wisconsin.

I really like your poem. I would like to see more of your work. my favorite lines are:

Keep an ear open for that magical song.
Seething through the night, praying for dawn.

I think this poem could be expanded upon if you so desired. but sometimes brevity is best. you can say a lot with fewer words...that is a rare talent!

*warm smiles :) Cat

p.s.
if you need any help finding your way around, or have questions, please ask. if I cannot answer your questions, we will find someone who can.

It definitely reads like a structured work. It’s well done. Please post more stuff. It could be expanded and yup sometimes brevity is best. Wordiness for the sake of itself is never a great idea in any type of writing.

The poem is personal and I feel like the audience was you. In other words: you write for yourself because you enjoy it. That’s very key because no matter how good your words are the emotions are there. You lived them. I encourage you to continue with your writing.

The title is awesome and is a bit of a double entendres. Your feelers found us here. Welcome.

Tim

I think you should have posted this under the heading
of Western rhyme, but it can be changed with the touch of a button.

My one criticsm with this piece; is that the 2nd to last line doesn't quite make sense.
I feel like I know what your intent was, but it doesn't really make sense.
Maybe you could say...
If we grow feeble, do we fall under their power?

Good luck, and again, welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.
.

Your second to the last line reads:
"If we grow weak, do we fall feebly into power?"

It's always a question asked not for the answer but for the effect. But I don't think is rightly fitted in that line.