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Restored Centuries In Poetry ( A Florette) [September Contest]
O for poetry that has to smite,
cite a history, bold and might,
invite decades that already passed,
dare then thou claim that words don't last, those that ignite!
cite a history, bold and might,
invite decades that already passed,
dare then thou claim that words don't last, those that ignite!
And poetry yet has the writ,
for tears to fall, and fears to drift,
for trees to burgeon and buds to bloom,
dare thou then claim the poet's doom, thou who hast wit!
for tears to fall, and fears to drift,
for trees to burgeon and buds to bloom,
dare thou then claim the poet's doom, thou who hast wit!
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Florrette
More about the form
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/florette.html
The Florette, created by Jan Turner, consists of two or more 4-line stanzas.
Rhyme scheme: a,a,b,a
Meter: 8,8,8,12
Fourth line requirement of internal (b) rhyme scheme, on syllable 8.
Like the outgrowing of a small flower, the forth line of each stanza is longer, and enwraps the previous lines. Line #4 requires an internal rhyme scheme that rhymes the eighth syllable with the end of line #3, and continues to add on four more syllables than the other lines so that the fourth line ends rhyming with lines #1 and #2.
Editing stage:
Contest:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Wed, 2018-09-12 14:14
Hi Rula
from what you have mentioned about this Florette form it appears to be very challenging to conform to it....but you are known to venture into such things which you have done very well I think....by following such an innovative structure for the contest poem you have raised the bar high for others...best wishes for getting a second on the run winner acclaim...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Thu, 2018-09-13 02:31
Hello Raj
and so many thanks for the wishes. I don't expect to win or I need to buy a new hat then [grins]
I would love to know how much the subtext is clear for you and what do you think about the title. I am still thinking about it.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Thu, 2018-09-13 14:25
Witty Whack?
Witty Whacks at Masks?
or if it doesn't go well with someone who won't kill a fly...may be witty poke
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Thu, 2018-09-13 14:37
Hello raj
I wanted something to give the reader a hint about the lost and found thing in my piece. I think I'm happy with my edited one.
Saying so, I still appreciate your thoughts.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Thu, 2018-09-13 14:38
ok...
ok...
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raj (sublime_ocean)