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The Resolve To Runnaway

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Fri, 2016-06-24 13:06

It's hot in this hole,
this house I call home
the AC broke
a long time ago.

I'm gonna run one day
far far away;
just about fed up
with all this cut up.

blades everywhere
I stare,
as my skin tear
from words that don't care.

my heart rips,
bleed from beats that skip;
I feel no pain from the whips
grown numb from the grip.

I died yesterday
I've no will to stay
in this family another day
I've resolved to runaway.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2016-06-24 13:22

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a great start to a rap song! The message was clear and delivered in style. I liked it. ~ Gee.

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Sparrow

Sat, 2016-06-25 03:55

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Good fun on this one,
Just a small point for the title and in the poem.
Run Away I haven't seen it joined at the hip as you have in the title.
In the poem the use of the double word could be made to stand out, "Run Away"
Yours as always Ian.xx

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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Esker

Sat, 2016-06-25 05:11

Esker's picture

we lead...
everyone waiting
the stale of it

I hung on for a long time
since making myself get kicked
out..the changes have come

all of us

for the better

fantastic dire and great poem
about the description of that
pressure
a beautiful poem of human
condition

freedom is fearful
but I made it
it wasnt as bad
to leave
for me

I relate too this
well..
I can never touch
upon that which
haunts me most
such as U
or other writers
speaking of the
cause

thank U!

jane210660

Sat, 2016-06-25 05:18

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A moving poem about something I guess we all feel at various points in our lives. Jx

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Poem

Sat, 2016-06-25 13:46

Poem's picture

I really liked the flow and the rhyming :)
And in the last para could relate myself
I feel it's perfect

Cheers
Kavi

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