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Passion= E=MC Squared
As in most things relativity is in play,
No more so than in passion's way,
Passion can be hell or bliss,
An open hand ot frightening fist.
It is the artist's muse, a dancer's music,
The red hot glow of a poet's lyric,
The backseat of a young lover's car,
Mankind's reaching for the stars.
It can also be a Hitler's voice,
Lending men down a hate-filled course,
Or mushroom clouds leaving only ashes,
As horrible as the insane fascists.
When passion is let off its leash,
It can bring war or peace,
Used for love or hate,
Relative to the user's state.
SDM
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-09-05 00:40
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Passion= E=MC Squared" presents a compelling exploration of the dual nature of passion, drawing parallels between the concept of relativity in physics and the varying outcomes of passion. The structure of the poem is consistent, which aids in the readability and flow of the piece.
However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of its central theme. While the dichotomy of passion leading to either love or hate is a powerful one, the poem might delve deeper into the complexities of passion. For instance, it could explore how passion can lead to both positive and negative outcomes simultaneously, or how the same passion can be interpreted differently by different people.
In terms of language, the poem successfully employs vivid imagery to convey its message. However, some lines seem to rely on clichés ("The backseat of a young lover's car," "Mankind's reaching for the stars"). While these phrases are not inherently problematic, they may detract from the originality of the poem. Experimenting with more unique metaphors or descriptions could enhance the poem's impact.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more careful examination of its rhyming scheme. While the AABB pattern is generally maintained, there are instances where the rhyme feels forced or unnatural. Revising these lines could improve the overall rhythm of the poem.
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Geezer
Tue, 2023-09-05 00:19
Passion...
I get the theme, being an artist of sorts and around artists most of my life, I get the idea that some people are gifted, and some being gifted, take their craft or art seriously indeed. The copious, yet ragged rhyme of this one, sails right along.
It doesn't make this piece any less, when you read the lines one by one. I do feel that if you are going to use a comma.
or full stop at the end of a line, you should adhere to the usage of the respective punctuation. Small letters after a comma.
~ Geezer.
.
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Lavender
Tue, 2023-09-05 14:09
Passion = E = MC Squared
Clever poem. I like the way you've tied all the distinct, different tiers of passion, with both the good and bad outcomes. Very well stated. Yes, it is all relative.
Thank you,
L