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Not just kids color outside the lines...

Submitted by scooby on Sun, 2018-04-08 22:23

Why is coloring in the lines pretty,
But outside it is not.
What’s the point in being witty,
If my lines are all I’ve got.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-04-09 06:26

Nice thought provoking short piece with good rhyme...I was into your poem up to line 3 but lost my way in line 4...are you saying people give more attention to face value than they give to what the person says?...if it's so you have really sent a great message...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

chevyvent

Mon, 2018-04-09 11:42

chevyvent's picture

Really gives cadence to the simple thoughts of granduer

Mario Vitale

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