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Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2015-10-21 04:19

somewhere I exist

slow going....one girls moves on
then the internet girls arrives
and another.....
it happens in a week...
the romance in hours
ticking
..

they are brilliant..driven
clever and honest
one is corporate
and the other a poet
living abroad...
but they like the poet
Bukowski persona

and he likes the poet
girl
takes in the canadian girl
in his world...his cyber arms
and spends the day writing
both and others...
and all like his stories his
poems....his sexting
to them

and he feels like a train crash
about too happen....like he hates
the wheels on his chair in the
basement....the stop dead
he has to force it out
nothing rolls anything
its all a brute effort it wont
do....
yet like lies
and likes the words
coming from their texts
not even from his common law
does he hear praise nor
love or excitement like
this..............
they read his poetry and admire
it...it entices their own
how can you dislike this
????

no one has ever been this straight up
and hes learning so much
he loves his new woman friends....

...

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

ThEdges

Wed, 2015-10-21 08:43

ThEdges's picture

This is really good. ...and of course, I can relate. They are souls that for many reasons, don't sit in bars...besides, they can be much more successful online. It's hard for anybody living alone and rarely hearing praise to keep going. I remember I hadn't been touched by a soul in months, and an employee at a Walmart touched my arm because my little line made her laugh so much, that her touch was a way of sharing the laugh, and I realized how long it had been since I had another person touch me....even for a second, ...and I was grateful, shocked...happy...stunned at how good it felt (?) ...well, I'm not even sure what I was. ...but I was dazed in some way. Luckily, I kept my composure until she was gone. ..

Best always,
Laura

Esker

Wed, 2015-10-21 09:36

Esker's picture

we storm along....survive
not that we didnt try
this is what we like
but the new of course is easy
but Im like learning
missing so much or not listening
then...I look and deal with my
other better now..until it happened
to me I would not have believed it
now I see all the searching some
others have done...why they shopped
for a man...or a woman
and makes me realize that here
when they said I was not bad looking
and I did not believe them at all
that maybe too them I was and
that they liked me..
clears up some confusion

role playing too...its rather exciting
if they can write it out and read it out
and it works for them..then so true
in real life they can relate...

all new too me and as I write
I like it very much
even though it is sinning in Gods eyes..

my other has her "man" friends too
of course we know its the net..

pretend...the new world..

wow

thanks Laura for your comment

Esker~

author comment

ThEdges

Wed, 2015-10-21 13:25

ThEdges's picture

Well. ...when you look at all the factors, it's a bit difficult for me to call it sinning. ... it's online so you're physically safe..after you pay for the net, chat is free....also, no need to get dressed up...and (speaking for myself) before you turn on the computer, you were alone, now you are interacting. ...everybody there is no longer alone...and you go forward. ... if you make a connection, you've got someone to "talk to" for hours.... and tomorrow night, too. .. also non-judgmental way. ..you can't be too short, etc...

Best always,
Laura

Esker

Wed, 2015-10-21 17:44

Esker's picture

one of us was trained....and we are oft against one another...childhood that
was....happy moments...sad..angry moments glad,,,empty moments...fleeting...
my woman had had her man chums for years....well...they would call challenge
me...not that I couldnt deal with them....I can tell whom is a proper challenge
and whom are the puff dragons.......I am not a puff dragon but then I know Im
not a fellow that living with is happiness either.....ghosts...haunted...issued
baggaged.....when I found women that like me...said I was handsome...liked
my words....it was like a softness I had been seeking.....a world I knew existed
and then quit believing in....we drive each other here to survive.....like harsh
but realistic......and I like my woman..practical...keeps a good house..I help..
gets out there....is brilliant too....I made fun of her site she belonged too
and kept about because I began to make chums there...not many....just sort
of staid in stasis....then suddenly took off....my mood of poetry I posted there
became different....I began to make new contacts and learned how to be social
my woman guided me....she has always helped me become a more kinder version
and the Princess too.....I was a junkyard dog...And from their talks writing too me
I can see myself...Like Barbaras writing here too....I need to talk to a counsellor
still about the pain...hurt...stuff I want too keep driving under....deny...suffusing.
.

thank U Laura !

mr Esker~

author comment
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