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My Mom, My Moon (Sunku)
Pizza
and apple pie
that's ambrosia
Showers
of blessings
are cleansing home
Her face
resembles
that of the moon's.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:45
a fine Sunku Rula about a
a fine Sunku Rula about a home maker's dream..you need to correct the spello about cleansing
third stanza could also be like
crescent
in my sky [meaning home]
reflects the mood
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:11
Raj
Thanks for reading and the correction. Much appreciated
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raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:13
i also edited my comment with
i also edited my comment with a suggestion
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:29
A very good one
Way to go dear raj!
I think I need to work more on the subtext thing to amaliorate
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raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:42
it's a very small change I
it's a very small change I have proposed to you Rula
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raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:44
Rula
you have missed n in cleansing...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:49
Ooops
Not again. Pah! Damn those tired eyes. :(
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raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:54
dear Rula
it happens to everyone...good to see you posting Sunku
good night
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raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:12
wow
I was at the Apple Farm
@KINGSTON
wish had realised
your ambrosia
earlier
Rula
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:30
Hope
You've enjoyed it anyway lovedly
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lovedly
Fri, 2018-07-27 17:55
yes but of course
now when you walk my page
it's a pleasant surprise
Rula
Mon, 2018-07-30 03:57
Thanks
Lovedly for the kind words
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raj
Fri, 2018-07-27 16:56
may be this
that of the moon's. [a crescent moon]
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Mon, 2018-07-30 04:06
Thank you raj
for the thoughtful read.
I thought the change to (crescent moon) won't meet my mother's full moon face, or at least what I see in her:-)
Thanks for your endless support my friend.
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