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My Friend's Pain
Alright.
“Iʼll be alright” she spoke to me
“Eventually”.
Was that to mean
As time goes by?
After the event?
After all events?
After all the event had went.
But “Whens” are dead
As Time has stopped its clock
And no second hand will measureʼ whysʼ
So long I listen
So dumb and dumber I become,
And syncopated intermittent
Shocks
Sear my novice heart
We walk In post apocalyptic grief,
We trudge the thicker darker path
Towards the stronger straighter run unto the finish line?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2022-11-20 17:41
Standing by...
your friend during a time of grief. I mean grief from the loss of a relationship. It's tough, listening to the stories you watched already. Seeing the bravado one minute, " I'll be alright." to the "What am I going to do without her/him, you.?" Let's hope that
your friends have stamina and can get you back on your feet again, quickly. ~ Geezer.
.
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Lavender
Sun, 2022-11-20 18:40
My Friend's Pain
Hi, Punchie,
I can see that this would be about a broken relationship, but it speaks to me in other ways, too. Perhaps a friend who is ill, or lost a loved one. Apocalyptic grief feels very intense. Actually, the last three lines feel very important, but I'm a little confused with the meaning, especially punctuated with the question mark. I'll be back to read again after you respond.
Thank you,
Lavender
Punchie
Mon, 2022-11-21 05:16
My Frinds Pain
Thanks Lavender for taking the time
Yes the last line is about some grief that wont end or you don't know if there will be an end which is worse(hence the question mark)
its attempting to explain the confusion and ignorant helplessness of trying to walk with someone elses pain and shock that is now forever and the old life is gone
That pain is my teacher.
The death was of a daughter, a brilliant nurse at San Francisco emergency hospital and of a single Mum(my Friend) who received the news.
Thanks again for your response
author commentLavender
Mon, 2022-11-21 08:47
Hello, Punchie,
Condolences to you and your friend.
L
Punchie
Tue, 2022-11-22 03:50
Thankyou.P
Thankyou.P
author comment