Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
MOURNING SUN
MOURNING SUN
The sun burns steel cold
sharp and cutting
reaching the depths of me.
I don’t hear birds singing
anymore.
and the noise
of all living things
sends shock waves
into my brain.
Did you know how much
I loved you
did you know how much
you meant to me
what do I do now
where do I go from here
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geremia
Tue, 2012-12-11 14:57
That was agreat compliment,
That was agreat compliment, my friend.
weirdelf
Tue, 2012-12-11 16:34
Thanks Joe, I'm touched
Real men can be sensitive too.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Tue, 2012-12-11 18:27
We're all still little boys,
We're all still little boys, Jess,, and when we are dying we call for our mothers. Ask anyone who works in a hospice,
I once said to you that no man can truly measure another man's pain, I think you can do a better job than I did,''
Joe
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-12-11 18:46
Joe
A beauty of a piece that held the feelings close, where do you go from here you asked.
If only we knew young Joe, but if they told us a series of truths, we would still be lost as to our final journey, but I will see you on the other side..
Take care young man, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Geremia
Tue, 2012-12-11 19:21
I hope so, Ian.
I hope so, Ian.
Kailashana2
Tue, 2012-12-11 20:04
Wow! Joe! You have reached
Wow! Joe! You have reached your core. Congratulations!
Love,
Anna
Geremia
Tue, 2012-12-11 20:58
Thank you ,my Anna
Thank you ,my Anna
Race_9togo
Wed, 2012-12-12 03:06
Hye, Joe.
Starting to read this, I thought at first "Oh well, just another angst poem".
Then I read the second stanza.
My gods, man, you hit the target, the loss, dead on. Sharp, clear and anguished.
Simply wonderful.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Geremia
Wed, 2012-12-12 06:34
Another "angst poem,", huh?
Another "angst poem,", huh? Why I oughta. LOL. This one surprised me too, Jim.
Thanks,
Joe
loved
Wed, 2012-12-12 09:46
dumbfounded
speechless
like any ordinary folk like me
would be....
too deep for a soul
to seep
loved
Geremia
Wed, 2012-12-12 10:12
You are no way "ordinary", my
You are no way "ordinary", my friend.
loved
Wed, 2012-12-12 10:32
your eyes
are still so discerning
it marvels me
How I wish some day
I too could be
like thee
loved
Kailashana2
Wed, 2012-12-12 10:42
Btw is steal or is it steel
Btw is steal or is it steel cold ? (Both would work, Joe).
Geremia
Wed, 2012-12-12 10:56
"steel", thanks, Anna.
"steel", thanks, Anna.