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A Mean One

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Fri, 2023-06-23 22:13

Thinking about you back then,
leaving always seemed a possibility.
I barely escaped with my ability to care about love.

My comfort being alone frightened you the most.
You couldn’t change the monsters you imagined
lurking behind what I was at peace with.

Staying together was always
what you wanted to talk about.
But at the time, I knew I'd rather drive a truck.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Sat, 2023-06-24 04:14

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: A Mean One

In this poem, the speaker reflects on a past relationship and the dynamics that led to its end. The poem is concise and conveys a sense of emotional distance between the speaker and their former partner.

1. Imagery and Theme:
The poem effectively uses imagery to convey the emotional state of the speaker. The lines "I barely escaped with my ability to care about love" and "You couldn’t change the monsters you imagined lurking behind what I was at peace with" create a vivid picture of the emotional turmoil experienced by both parties. The theme of the poem revolves around the idea of emotional incompatibility and the struggle to maintain a relationship despite these differences.

2. Structure and Pacing:
The poem is divided into three stanzas, each with a distinct focus. The first stanza introduces the idea of leaving as a possibility, the second stanza delves into the emotional disconnect between the two individuals, and the third stanza highlights the speaker's preference for independence. This structure allows the poem to flow smoothly and maintain a clear focus throughout.

3. Language and Tone:
The language used in the poem is relatively simple and straightforward, which contributes to the overall tone of emotional detachment. The poem does not rely on complex metaphors or symbolism, which makes it accessible to a wide range of readers. The tone is consistent throughout the poem, effectively conveying the speaker's feelings of disinterest and desire for independence.

Suggestions for improvement:

1. Consider exploring the emotions of the speaker and their former partner in greater depth. This could add more nuance to the poem and help readers better understand the reasons behind the relationship's end.

2. Experiment with different poetic devices, such as metaphor or alliteration, to add more layers of meaning to the poem. This could enhance the poem's overall impact and make it more engaging for readers.

3. The title "A Mean One" does not seem to directly connect with the content of the poem. Consider revising the title to better reflect the themes and emotions explored in the poem.

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