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Malfunction in the concept of Love

Submitted by seabhac on Fri, 2010-12-17 11:48

Twenty eight days to return you
Just because you don’t please me
If you don’t match what I have already
I can send you back.

Perhaps, in the light of my home
Your colour is not quite right.
If you function well
I may just hold onto you,
Working you day and night

Should your light go out
Or you are not cool anymore,
I am guaranteed a replacement
As good as, if not better than the last.

A malfunction sends a man to repair you
He attempts to kick or shake you to your senses.
Unperturbed, they will wheel you away
Placing a new one just where you stood.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Looking at the fickleness of Western Society ( and others) Does this same lack of values extend to matters of the heart.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Fri, 2010-12-17 19:41

Roscoe Lane's picture

True love is irriplaceable, you can't buy and sell it. It's either there or it's not, even in the most fickle person. Your poem describes perfectly the way we treat objects, as though you read it straight from the rapper. But there are no written instructions with human emotions, that's why we enjoy the journey each time.

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

seabhac

Sat, 2010-12-18 03:45

seabhac's picture

Even the science of love flounders on the human emotion but a great book in the reasoning of it is Love Struck a very analytical look at why love is really a form of madness and how similar it is to OCD. Perhaps to balance that is also to read Oshos Love and aloneness the perfect combination to reach a balanced view on what love is...
Interesting that we enjoy both the pain and the joy of love and it sure makes a great point to write poetry from...
Thanks Roscoe

Seabhac

author comment

scribbler

Fri, 2010-12-17 20:59

Volunteer badge

A very nice statement of the lack of guarantee in love. Good to see you back.................scribbler

seabhac

Sat, 2010-12-18 03:48

seabhac's picture

Have missed the gang here for a while now ,hopefully get time to catch up with some of the new writes soon.
Thanks for the welcome

Seabhac

author comment

seabhac

Sat, 2010-12-18 03:55

seabhac's picture

So glad you could see the humour , I have met women fickle enough to discard a man if he no longer was of usefulness to her...we often refer to them as bunny boilers here...
The deeper aspect of this is do we desire a love of our own imagining and is that really love. The question of love ( thankfully ) will never be universally answered as it will always be different for each of us.
Remaining a hopeless romantic myself ha ha

Thank you for your kind wishes ... Solstice is almost upon us , the dark in the light.

Enjoy
Seabhac

author comment
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