Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Love confides in the land of despair

Submitted by Tigger Kaz on Sun, 2023-05-28 18:12

Over the hill of despair
In the land of nowhere
Nowhere to hide
No place to reside

In the mist of gloom
In the living doom
Nothing but sadness
No sense of gladness

In the pits of humanity
In the chaos insanity
Nothing but fear
No words of cheer

Yet at sadness cost
All is not lost
When fear can disappear
And our gloom can clear

In the blink of an eye
In the vacant sky
Everything to cope
Yes words of hope

In the promise that's sold
In the words that are told
Everything to astound
Yes love abounds.

Over the hill of despair
In a land of care
Nowhere to hide
Where love confides.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2023-05-29 00:12

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Love confides in the land of despair" explores the themes of hope and despair, with a focus on the redemptive power of love. The imagery is bleak and haunting, with the "hill of despair" and the "mist of gloom" creating a sense of hopelessness and despair. However, the poem also suggests that love can overcome even the darkest of situations, with the final stanza offering a message of hope and redemption.

One suggested line edit would be to change "In the living doom" to "In this living tomb". This would strengthen the image of sadness and despair, and add to the overall atmosphere of hopelessness that the poem creates.

Overall, "Love confides in the land of despair" is a well-crafted poem that effectively captures the themes of hope and redemption. The imagery is vivid and evocative, and the message of the poem is both poignant and uplifting. The suggested line edit would only serve to enhance an already impressive work of poetry.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Leanne Hogton

Sun, 2023-05-28 19:32

Leanne Hogton

Sun, 2023-05-28 19:32

Leanne Hogton

Sun, 2023-05-28 19:32

Leanne Hogton

Sun, 2023-05-28 19:33

Honestly I'm an enthusiastic idiot TBF but I felt the rhythm really boldly like I wanted to beat my Cajon whilst reading this . This is a beautiful powerful chant of hope and love beyond the hurt ..or at least as I read it . Well done I would love to read more.

Tigger Kaz

Mon, 2023-05-29 03:14

Tigger Kaz's picture

Thank you.

I try to write a poem a day.
It's good for my soul

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.