Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Knights of Heavy Thinking

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Mon, 2023-06-12 20:58

Frozen in the mirror of self reflection
Trapped in molecules of glass
Accepting what may come
Consequences of the past

Around me, sterile, barren ground
For “now I’ve become death
The destroyer of worlds”
in a single solitary breath

Penance from my fortress tall
I gaze upon the fateful days
This vast destruction now besets
My kingdom in one thousand ways

Without treaty, under siege
I leave the drawbridge down
The knights of heavy thinking
Be thy marshals in this town

I could fall upon my sword
Throw myself from tower high
Wizened by my erring ways
I sit and think resolved to try

Start anew with scarring heart
Tender masochistic lesions
My self inflicted misery
Leaves me searching for the reasons

Hope becomes the mortar now
Clings to us, as brick by brick
We build our new foundation strong
Designed to weather thin and thick

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Tue, 2023-06-13 07:00

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

I see the progression of a history here, and the stages of a man's growth in his life. wisdom comes with time and it is hard won! it is so very hard to choose a favorite section, but I really loved this:

Hope becomes the mortar now
Clings to us, as brick by brick
We build our new foundation strong
Designed to weather thin and thick

*love, Cat
*ever, eddy

p.s.
my favorite lines were:

Around me, sterile, barren ground
For “now I’ve become death
The destroyer of worlds”
in a single solitary breath

*evr, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Seren

Tue, 2023-06-13 08:09

Seren's picture

Applause!!!

That is all.

Regards

Seren/Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Unca Fez

Tue, 2023-06-13 21:03

Unca Fez's picture

Wow! That is all I can say.

Thanx,
Steve

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.