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King of Fools and Desperation

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Wed, 2023-06-28 12:29

In my deepest well of self doubt
When loathing becomes my dharma
I don’t know myself at all
Some disconnect occurs
Dissociative patterns
Same old triggers
Again
And again
And again
ad nauseum
Anger displaced and thrown around at random
Collateral damages in all directions
No peace will hold me here
This space I habitually frequent
A resident of my own dark shadows
Phantoms of the past with clutches vile
Old celluloid horrors, flicker away
Existential prison cell of my own fabrication
Here I sit upon a throne of torment
King of fools and desperation

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2023-06-28 14:30

Damn...

you got it going! I think that sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We envision ourselves as the big, bad boogieman
in the nightmares we produce and direct. Yes, we make mistakes, but we can mitigate them, by not jumping to the first thing we think of to correct them and taking a bit of time to consider the outcome of throwing our anger at them, ourselves, or the ones that annoy us with the obvious berating of our psyche. "Yes, I know, I fked up!" The only thing I would change about this piece is the line: "Where I habitually frequent" to [The places I habitually frequent]. Otherwise, a great piece! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rosewood Apothecary

Thu, 2023-06-29 05:49

Thanks Geez

I took your advice and altered that line. It was something I thought about when I was initially writing it. I considered it to be a “weak” line. It was basically a modifier of the previous sentence; an adverb clause I think, devoid of any noun. This way here it’s directive towards the next line and flows better not to mention it’s a bit less boring.

Thanks for reading,
Tim

author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2023-06-29 10:11

My pleasure...

well, not exactly pleasurable for the theme, but the grace you exhibit in the writing of it. As for adverb clause and all that kind of thing; I don't often have the knowledge of what it is, just what feels wrong. [I suppose that if my memory was better, I would have that info, because I was in Honors English in college]. However, I am a prolific reader, and I have read many types of work, from comics, history and sci-fi, to some technical manuals. I have always paid some attention to the way things are worded, so when it sounds different, I want to know why and if how to fix it. Anyway, keep writing, you are so good! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

RoseBlack

Wed, 2023-06-28 18:55

I felt this in my soul

A great description of what we do to ourselves especially when triggered... And they are all firing off at the same time. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Candlewitch

Thu, 2023-06-29 07:31

dearest Tim,

this reminds me of a song/lyrics by Bruce S. where he "can't tell my courage from my desperation!' this line rings true with me, I feel it in my gut! as did I feel your poem.

*love, Cat

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King of Fools and Desperation