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Gone in a Minute

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Fri, 2022-10-07 19:45

Feel the wave begin to swell
External stimuli recede
Into cresting tide of self
Robbing you of what you need

I may be rolled under the break
Tumbled in the mighty salt
Embarrassed now, I look around
Knowing that is was my fault

If I see the wave approach
Do not fight, just take a breath
Try and float and let it pass
Save my ego from this death

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Hi everyone. Thanks for reading. You make feel warm and fuzzies.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2022-10-08 12:10

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I enjoyed the rhythm of this.
I am not sure that I quite understand the intent
of it. I am still trying to figure out
what the whole thing means. Are you saying that you
tend to ignore duty because you want to continue
what you are doing? I do that and very often wake
to the realization that if I had just gone ahead and one what
was required of me, that I would have been done with it already?

The theme is one I struggle with, but enjoyed reading about
because I often find myself in this particular situation.
"Misery loves company" ~ Geez.
.

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Rosewood Apothecary

Sat, 2022-10-08 16:47

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This about thinking for a minute before you let your initial feelings make choices you’ll regret later.

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Geezer

Mon, 2022-10-10 00:08

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Yeah, sometimes we do that! I'm guilty of it less these days. Seems like I am more prone to just shrug it off and say, F**k it it's no big deal. Not always, but more often than not. Thanks for the clarification. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rosewood Apothecary

Sat, 2022-10-08 16:49

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They come and go. Sometimes they’re gone in les than a minute.

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Lavender

Sat, 2022-10-08 22:44

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Hi, Tim,
Another tight rhyme and consistent theme. Nice! I recently had a disagreement with my son and my entire reaction was like a huge wave - it happened so fast. I had to eat crow and apologize, and all is good, but the feeling stayed with me for a few days. Your poem precisely fits the experience.
Thank you!
L

Rosewood Apothecary

Sun, 2022-10-09 08:39

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I’m trying like hell to respond instead of react. Save myself the ongoing embarrassment. Worst part is, you’re harder on yourself over it than your son likely is. Honestly I think this happens to everyone to some degree. I am desperately trying to break the cycle of generational trauma and still seeing reflections of my upbringing in my behaviors toward my children. Thanks for your kind words and support.

Tim

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Candlewitch

Sun, 2022-10-09 13:03

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sometimes the ego has to take hits, even die in order to be reborn.( into a more level being) I love this thought provoking piece.

* big smiles, Cat

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