Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

glass prism

Submitted by MDT on Sat, 2012-04-21 10:52

there once was a girl
who liked to watch colours swirl
while dripping paint in a twirl
she would adjust light to compose
the wavelengths of her depicted prose
in shades and hues of an equal dose
to reflect, absorb or replace
when soft bristles tint the white space
her acrylics splash in grace,
the spectrum of her mind
such vivid images to unbind
and esoteric answers she would find
forth from the glass prism

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Nordic cloud

Sun, 2012-04-22 16:11

Nordic cloud's picture

Up to "the white space," I love this.
I paint too and know the feeling,
not sure where the glass comes into this,
I liked the title introducing just this poem,
but wanted something that echoed the thought of glass.

The two lines I wasn't so excited about were:-

"her acrylics splash in grace,"
"forth from the glass prism"

Not sure what to say about this,
I liked the overall idea very much
but I think it needs weaving together a little more.

Just me Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

MDT

Sun, 2012-04-22 18:18

MDT's picture

hi Nordic cloud,

thanks for the feedback as it is muchly appreciated. Its the glass prism because its in the glass prism that u can see the spectrum of colours. The basics u know, rgby....and i will take another look into weaving it...thanks.

Peace love and harmony light the path we must take. - MDT

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.