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The Doors Of My Mind (FEBRUARY CONTEST)
One, two, three and four.
Look at all the doors!
Some hanging from the ceiling,
some screwed onto the floor.
Swinging open and shut,
like a two by four.
Which one shall I choose,
memories of the past?
Tearing open old wounds,
reminiscing about love
that didn't last?
Cut off by the slamming of the door!
What about the one
filled with things that
need to be forgotten?
Too many emotions,
not hardly for the downtrodden.
Would someone shut that door?!
Swirling, twirling, whirling,
buzzing in my brain.
Feelings much too hard to explain.
Open and shut, open and shut
slamming, slamming, SLAMMING!
Would someone shut those damn doors!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
Sparrow
Tue, 2015-02-03 18:54
Carrie
Good fun write, may you never have to open another door, just walk with a free heart into the open structure of the unfolding universe where all things are possible and can be yours, keep writing,
Yours Ian xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lonlyhrtsclub13
Tue, 2015-02-03 19:00
ian
As always, thanks for the visit. Glad you enjoyed the write. Released a bit of tension and had some fun as well.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Sparrow
Tue, 2015-02-03 19:10
Carrie
I am glad that you up and left the doors behind.
Out there are many places to go and it is your choice which way you go, this poem was full of being behind doors no matter what the end stanza was.
As I said there are an infinity of think places to be and as you travel and learn there will be a peace in your ways.
Did you read my door practice one ???
Go read and have a laugh,
Yours As always Ian xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Wed, 2015-02-04 08:12
Hi Carrie
The allusion to the doors behind which we store that best Not remembers was very good. A suitable poem for this month's contest. Did you remember to also post this on the contest thread? That makes it easier for the judge to review all entries at contest's end.........stan
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2015-02-04 12:01
It has been entered
on the contest thread. Thanks for the read and review, Stan!!!!
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-04 10:42
A good entry Carrie
A good one indeed.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2015-02-04 12:01
Thank you Rula!
I am looking forward to see what you have to contribute.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
raj
Wed, 2015-02-04 12:46
Carrie
Others have commented before me already. I rate this to be a very emotive and good write in the context of the contest theme also.. I say this because you not only opened the door to the memories in the opening lines and shut them out in the closing lines. Very thoughtfully and cleverly written poem in my opinion.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2015-02-04 14:32
Raj
Thank you for the read and for the comments. Like many of the poets on here, I value your opinion and criticisms. This was a fun piece for me to write and also let me release some emotions of my own without being too aggressive. Can't wait to see what you contribute!
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Esker
Wed, 2015-02-04 21:38
creatively clever...
I can feel the power in it!!
and the sense of humor
good descripts and numbers
of doors..Variety
doors open doors shut
Like that use in the poem..
Thank You!
lonlyhrtsclub13
Thu, 2015-02-05 07:38
Steven
Glad you enjoyed it. Our mind is full of doors, some we close and they remain closed forever, others we continuously reopen when they should remain closed. Then there are the ones filled with the good stuff that we don't want to forget, the memories we wish we could go back to. You know the ones I mean. The ones when times were simpler. Thanks for the comment :)
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"