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Dilemma

Pen and ink are my swords
On a green tablet
To cut the chaff and wheat for harvest
When they are ripe.
Now, the fisherman has launched his net
To catch bountiful fishes in the ocean
But I’m a fish which doesn’t like to live in water
If I live on land, I’ll die
Where should I go?

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How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The poem ironically symbolized the infliction in the poet environment, which he is trying to escape but he is confused. In line 1 – 4, he uses his pen and ink as weapon to fight for freedom. In line 5 – 9, he symbolizes a fish that doesn’t like to live in water. He doesn’t like to live in his present environment but if the antagonist (government) captured him (if he lives on land he may die) he may die in the cell. In the last line, he leaves a question for his readers maybe to stay in water or on land or to run away.
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem titled "Dilemma" effectively utilizes metaphorical language to express a sense of conflict and uncertainty. The first two lines set up a metaphor of writing as a form of combat or struggle, which could be further developed to add depth to the poem. The transition to the fisherman and fish metaphor in the subsequent lines is a bit abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the poem.

The metaphor of the fish out of water is a common one, but the way it's used here to express a sense of not belonging or being out of place is effective. However, the last two lines could be reworked to make the dilemma more specific or personal to the speaker, which would make the poem more emotionally engaging.

The poem could also benefit from more concrete imagery and sensory details. For example, what does the "green tablet" look like? What does it feel like to be a fish out of water? These details could help to draw the reader in and make the poem more vivid and engaging.

The poem's structure is fairly consistent, with each line consisting of roughly the same number of syllables. This gives the poem a rhythmic quality that helps to carry the reader along. However, the poem could benefit from more varied line lengths or stanza structures to create a more dynamic reading experience.

In terms of language, the poem is fairly straightforward and easy to understand. However, the poem could benefit from more varied and interesting word choices to make it more engaging and memorable. For example, instead of "bountiful fishes," the poet could use a more specific and evocative term like "a school of shimmering fish."

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of dilemma and uncertainty, but could benefit from more concrete imagery, more varied language, and a smoother transition between metaphors.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

The green tablet refers to the green surface of the earth where wheats grow.
Switching from the foregoing discussion to another idea in the poem is to cut deeper into the poet feeling.
When the readers move along the flowing of feelings in the lines, they'll know what the poem interpretation is.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment

Strong title that matches the content of the poem. I am becoming more familiar with your work, so "green tablet" was understood. Your poetry lets the reader feel your thoughts and honest dilemma.
Thank you so much.
L

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm still learning!

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment
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