im a rough draft....coming from you this is a compliment..
you are supreme for the fast and sleek...audi poems
and yet crude and rude and rough which i am....im like a
ford or dodge...the getaway...sharp enough to be cool and
curb jumping ditch bomber special that may still outrun..
i write this but they were some of the friends of friends
i knew....then...

i never intend any of these to be finished...but im left to
surmise the next logical step of this conversation which would
be that this is a workshop....how can i work this to its "finished"
state......like a musician with a musical score..or a painter that
one can study in retrospect or maybe if lucky present transition
and sucess...the fluid shifts into color or minimalism....these
occuring and the viewer..the listening..the "feeler" can delve
it out......

rimbaud strove to be a dandy and maybe was to a degree living
largely with women who took him on as mascot...giving him the
intimate portayals of life he sketched of them.....unlike auden who
wrote of his love.....

lately im merely on a patrol mode in life at fifty.....i come right to
the very edge....and draw away....poetry is not in this perimeter..
i feel this... I like your works because they are so different..it
stretches my head space reading them...

this workshop essence that gets kicked about here im seeing
like musicians...heres a riff..maybe if you add some distortion
clean up your vocal on this..im doing a lot of listening to covers
of peoples music too...seeing how the greats are rather easy
to imitate...but....then one can see how the greats handle it
but of course with much polish and suggestion....why
bands are bands....or at least covers singular or two..

im at a point where ive been exhausted..through the wrong
way how to do things and not giving up that easy.....
perhaps like clark gable in his last movie the misfits roping the
horse with the others watching....
which is my ego for certian in this
i feel i am closer to writing a truer poetry then my
pretty attempts....
all fine and dandy

somehow i feel you may feel there is more
just a hunch

of all poems
i dont really like this one
brilliant isnt like or nice
or love..
its an image....
an essence
a feel

okay
somehow this grueling
weekend
or more
i will see what i can do
to try to finish this

thank you very much
this critique and note
has helped me
much

Mr Steven..