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D I S H E V E L L M E N T S O F H O A R D E R

by rail divide me
plump in sections
that cool the passion
of taste
You succulent of poison
borne like hawkes
the prince theives
sabre

love is wicked
sear my flesh
where you shall
take leave your sworn
blood tears

calf skin gloves
silk serpent moult
on tenderling touch

this river black
wants you back
beneath the heady
sphere where
fortune tells
its ways

let me worry the
dark deed that grows
within

for one brush against
the cool shadow
you bewitched me
with..

parched..famished
I have come undone
beside what I am
Dishevelled by
that mantle of molten
rouge cascading
like rogues blood

Editing stage: 

Comments

.............P...........

author comment

but hey, they're beautiful words, right? if it is a ruff draft as you say, I'm sure the clarity will work it's way out.

You have intuition
welcome!!

yes words shifted about on the board
Or fridge magnet poetry for some
(once did this long ago with ex freinds)

Beautiful/ wow! thanks for the compliment!

Where are the feelings????
thing about the human brain is we can collect
data from it Galvanic response and the
MRI Look-see but there is so much more
going on...

I can sit and write and compose and be elsewhere
thats for sure
yes this one is rather undefined
i can sense that you are one whom knows that
after all what is a tool
if its edge needs to be sharp
It can look beautiful
but can it uphold its purpose??

beneath all of of the fancy fretwork
there is meaning
Im certian you see that
but we can
wait

I shall write more

again Thank You

author comment

comments, I seem to understand the fluidity of your writing better. tastes nice.

this heart
of course I wrote in
language
Our ghost language
here are words
but to us
So
Much
Feeling!!!!

author comment

I fear this poem went right over my head without mussing my hair.
Oh and "thieve" is spelled "i before e".
Grammar Cop wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Thank You
there was this funny Canadian show on
years ago called the Hilarious House of
Frightenstien
Billy van something was the comic genius
behind all this
They had a segment with this monster
dude who corrected grammar
grammar slammer bammer
I dont think I was paying enough
attention then
it was funny!

again thank you for the correction

author comment

"by rail divide me"
rail against
protest large
segments of soul
set here and there
undefined by passion
that blinds..
unfocused with no longer a set
"taste" of certianty

poison sweet
most are
and hawks more cunning
and agile then the twin headed
eagles old moniker of families
Strength to tradition this paragraph
Prince of Theives is satan with
his temptous ways
(Including sin lust and all that)
and sabre a swift sword
cutting away reason
dividing loyalties through
wanton urges

tears of passion frustration
wiped from the flesh burning
hot and leaving their tender
mark
sworn..as in "I shall do anything for you.."

fetish paragraph about the gloves skin and
all the serpent whom tempted eve our
original muse

I have a thing about black gloves!!
and apples Pure or poisoned!

this river black wants you back..
its metaphorical like the entry
from the darkness or offstage
the unknowns that we love and fear
(me anyway) how some people just
arrive in our fates

I studied astrology for a time
reading much into it and the stars
"heady sphere" love that line

Some people make me shiver..)still(
cool shadow...

let me worry the dark deed within
some people face things head on
and Im like this with somethings
If its my heart thats stirred
especially

the last line is finding the source
of the whole poem
an obsession and infatuation
with a Muse of course

pretty much a sparce breakdown
of what the whole kit and kaboodle
is about

author comment

seeking the hidden meanings
being thrown pleasureably about
in your concoctions,
to surface,

gasp a breath

then dive back in
forever in the vortex
of your soliloquies.

Shall we dance, we might say
as the scarlet sun sinks
and the stars come out,
from where I don't know!!!!
Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

and talking like rapster puns

its the shock wave nation
hissing out its aggravation
on the radio station.......

author comment

Steve, I stopped by to read and say hello. You have an extraordinary control of the language and push the metaphor to its ultimate abstraction. This is a great piece.

Joe

I loved the english teachers at school
One fellow smoked cigars
from Cuba no less..(we canadains can)
and used to light my Black Cat unfiltered
cigarettes for me at the back door of
the department while waiting for the bus
at High I am general minded academically
but I loved the high brow songs and music
and reading because I dont understand
all theories of it
but read a lot so that maybe made up for
it all through these years

I Love language reading the dictionaries
for the origins of words in languages
and music of course for the abilities
of the voice for octave bending note shearing
and sustaining efforts
I like to think my poetry does push everything
about in a flexible as can be for me manner
and I loved reading poetry like this a lot
when I was more into reading it

I have an announcers voice
(Pete Seeger is a close representation)
and I annunciate and time my words
for full affect and effect
because I can
its a gift too
so reading poetry or reading books
takes some time to "Hear" its language
and I love cover music on U Tube
for peoples renditions done so differently
to music which is poetry of course
Poetry that is sung!

Lizt Valentia or Valantia
is a blonde pianist
a most amazing one
and I listen to her sometimes
while writing
Or hard rock

as I have many moods
and temperaments
I love the variety that life
offers
and I love people that
do make the effort
to best themselves
in the learning and arts

There that was a good
use of a good term

Thank You for your Best comment Joe

Mr Steven

author comment

Strike life's fire while it still burns in you. Do all the thigs you want to do.You are a man of multiple talents. A renaissance msn of the 21st century How envy your gift.

Mr. Joe :)

and of course Josephine!!
some faves Oh and Joan of Arc

loved the renaissance period
love the Bayeaux tapestry
had a coffee cup with a portion
of it on that from a yard sale
My one lost coveted possession

yes I admit I am burning up in life
lately
passions egos and all
the dark forests call
where piney mirth waits
with tongue licked smiles

just a kick at life sometimes
to keep it awake Joe

Thanks my freind!!!

author comment

I must tell Joe that there are many I meet all pleasant
and such and then there are those with experience
with the "know" that far belies their exterior
Be they scholar or road saints female and male
adept minds and souls and willingness to jump
in take risks and get the flow going
without the bargain barn caterwauling about life

I hustled in my day Lived in shelters worked for
many Native canadians here Italians Sicilians
anglos Germans Polish Jewish to name a few
nationalities I have always found a liking and they
I to those with a great reserve of intelligence and
world experience I have stayed a Lone wolf
for years to avoid falling in with the same old
squeaky wheel crowd who whinge and whine
for their grease while others toiled and stayed
quiet Most of the talentless Ive come to see
out here and there in the hardscrabble realm
of attention.. Ive worked for craftsmen building
many things..its amazing how stillness and
just quiet observation can allow passage to worlds
that will never be open for the mouths that run
life is much amusing sometimes
like barking dogs chasing rabbits going round
and round

Thank You Joe for being my freind
its always a great honour

author comment

and one I wholly agree with. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I havent gotten to your workshop entries yet..Elf directed me there
Just busy moving But moved in now
full acess for computer here.. My parents were old happy hard
working retro people born in the twenties and late thirties
Both passed..They knew the end of the depression and the
start of world war two.. I grew up as a child in the hippy era
watching the vietnam war on television with my mom crying
for the "Those poor babies!!! oh those poor mothers"
the americans killed in combat.. So I got many influences
from those times and I worked as handyman for people
then in their eighties when I was like thirteen..

Im glad I got all of that exposure

Oops gotta go and put our groceries away Wes
My Bunni calling from downstairs

Thank You

author comment

and in their late eighties. When someone around the Christmas table starts whining about the "Great Recession", she scolds them saying, "Don't talk to me about hard times."
Perspective is everything.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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