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Chocolate
With a robust smell that fills the air,
Better than coffee any day, anywhere.
The smooth flowing flavor when bitten,
Oh honey, I'm smitten .
For Chocolate.
The white chocolate so mild and sweet,
Different from the others how neat.
A subtle hint of cocoa bean,
Without being really rich and lean.
The milk chocolate is inviting,
It's smooth taste and robust smell,
So enticing.
You're my favorite one of all,
My sweet and lovely sugar doll.
With peanut butter inside,
We'll be best friends till I die.
Dark chocolate fills the air,'
sending out scent like a flare.
A strong and rich sensation,
You put me in a deep meditation.
It increases my drive, I feel too lech,
If I eat too much, I may just retch.
Either decorated in a fancy box,
Or just a candy bar, or in blocks.
You are my best friend,
Until the very end.
Those heart shaped boxes for Valentines day,
Don't seem to go a very long way.
Can't I just buy you by the pound?
I don't think I would ever be down.
Thank you Chocolate for being you.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
A little silly yes I know, I've always loved Chocolate as you can tell.
I thought it might get a few giggles or maybe make someone crave chocolate.
Thanks for reading,
I hope you like.
Nichole
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
weirdelf
Thu, 2012-01-26 00:29
I bet you like country music,
too.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 01:02
Thanks :)
Yes I like country music, it's the ONLY music i listen to really. How'd ya guess??
Thanks for reading. :) How did my write appeal to you?
Nichole
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2012-01-26 01:07
To be perfectly honest,
I was being sarcastic. Anyone who limits themselves to one genre of music, poetry, literature, art or whatever will never appreciate or produce what is available in the rest.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 01:16
Oh......
How do you know I haven't tried others??/
I have tried jazz, rap, every kind of music and only country appeals to me,
which is my choice. Maybe i should open my mind more. I just know what i like.
Thank you for your time.
author commentIan.T
Thu, 2012-01-26 04:19
The fairer Sex and their
The fairer Sex and their Chocolate bless their hearts, men just hide the fact that they are so taken by its lure but they are the same lol.
Loved the write, just the odd thing that caught my eye apart from the Chocolate that is ( dribbling down his shirt) have put them under. Take care , Yours Ian.T
Dark chocolate fills the air,'
sending out (sent) like a flare. (scent,)
I may just (spew) a horrible word maybe makes the point better .
It increases my drive, I feel too lech,
If I eat too much, I may just retch.
There are not too many words that fit that line lol
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 14:09
LOL blushing
Well I can't believe i miss spelled some words in there. Grrrr. I wrote this very early in the morning and hadn't slept to well lately. But I'lll be sure to go fix that and try something different than spew. I really do appreciate you help and input. It feels good to be writing again.
Thanks so much :)
Nichole
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2012-01-26 13:45
hello Nichole,
This is a delightful read (except for the spewing, I like Ian's suggestion there.) Your title is concise to the subject matter. Language use is fine, except for the spewing, lol which seems too abrupt in imagery. You have succeeded in making my mouth water for chocolate...dark is my favorite, but I love them all!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 14:14
HI Cat
Well I look Lan T's advice and used the wording he suggested it fit so much better and fixed my spelling errors. Give it another read if you like. I appreciate yours and Lan T's help. Thanks guys .
Sincerely Nichole
author commentIan.T
Fri, 2012-01-27 02:21
Lan.T
here lol and there you are on about your spelling , I (I'lll) just blame an overdose of Chocolate, Yours Ian.T (Yenti)
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Nichole
Fri, 2012-01-27 12:59
LOL
Chocolate helps me spell BETTER. Actually chocolate helps me do EVERYTHING better now that I think about it. When you are relaxed and happy you can conquer the world.
Nichole
author commentIan.T
Sat, 2012-01-28 18:24
Nichole
Did you not see the errors of spelling my title Ian.T
Not Lan.T you have been at that chocolate again I (I'lll) will set Sparrow lose to pester you until it is seen LOL.
Shouldn't have mentioned his name damn......
You should have gone to spec saver's La La Yours Sparrow
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Esker
Thu, 2012-01-26 14:54
SENSOUS
thats what chocolate is
and aphrodisiac
and music for personal taste
is just that
ME I love chocolate mmmmm
especially in coffee at times
and dark chocolate
that bittersweet essence on the tongue
and Country Western Music is my favourite
My god loving parents taught us the bible
We are not pagans! although that is an
opinion of choice for others! I just
was at the library listening to Lizt piano
music and I love Delibres Opera scores..
of course I do listen to LORDS OF ACID also
and lil' Whayne, Johnny Cash etc
sometimes I compose my poems to these
famous and respected artists
I like the ODE style poems and this one
oozes
as I flex my mind to accept much these
days instead of being creaking and inflexible
I shall be able to vault hurdles with the
perspective of the youth and at least my
age will not be showing!!
Thank You
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 23:01
:)
Thanks for reading Esker. I enjoyed writing this one. Got hungry for Chocolate though and had to go get some after writing it. LOL
author commentscribbler
Thu, 2012-01-26 17:58
mmmmm........
Will have to comment later, gotta go get a snckers bar lol..........stan
Nichole
Thu, 2012-01-26 22:50
LOL
Oh I love this comment!!! Thanks Stan. Glad you liked. After writing this I had to go to the gas station here and got two HUGE Hershey's milk chocolate bars. YUMMY......................Nichole
author commentpleiades
Fri, 2012-01-27 02:40
chocolate should be a food
chocolate should be a food group...
and glen campbell rocks
cheers
p
Nichole
Fri, 2012-01-27 12:56
AGREED
Yes it should be a food group, Five serving of White, 20 servings of milk chocolate and five of dark a day LOL I love junior mints, it's like my favorite candy. Glad you liked.
Nichole
author commentlou
Fri, 2012-01-27 03:24
Nichole
I don't usuallly do happy poems, but I love chocolate. it's an ode to the sweet stuff.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Nichole
Fri, 2012-01-27 12:58
:)
I'm glad you liked it Lou. But must ask. Why don't you like happy poems??? just curious.
Nichole
PS. Want a hershy's bar yet? LOL
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2012-01-31 14:18
"To hell with love,
I'd rather fall in chocolate." wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Nichole
Tue, 2012-01-31 14:38
LOL
I like the idea. Or have your love bring you chocolate
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