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Birdcage

Submitted by Anthony Scoble on Sun, 2024-07-14 12:05

I am at the bottom of the birdcage
Just laying in the grit
Feeling snug and warm
Coz I'm a piece of shit

I'm at the bottom of the birdcage
Why don't you come and sit
Not one person will bother us
Coz they can't handle it

I'm at the bottom of the birdcage
It's where I spend my time
Alone in my thought no pardons sought
Smoking reefer so sublime

I'm sitting in this birdcage
But what no-one can see
For growing in this birdcage
Is my own poet's tree

A.c.scoble

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Last few words:

I penned this thinking about my mis-spent teenage years

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-07-14 18:10

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Ruby Lord

Sun, 2024-07-14 14:05

I enjoyed your poem, it has a

I enjoyed your poem, it has a good flow and I liked the story.
I see this is your first post here? Welcome.

The only tiny bit that I found a little peculiar was this line:

Smoking reefer so sublime - I think it's the meter that is not as effective here?

Perhaps,
Smoking reefer is no crime

I hope this helps? Ruby :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

RoseBlack

Sun, 2024-07-14 15:05

Welcome to Neo

Excellent start and first write. I think I have been at the bottom of a birdcage a time or two. Glad you are finding your way through poetry! Looking forward to reading more from you.

~RoseBlack~

Lavender

Sun, 2024-07-14 16:53

Birdcage

Hello, Anthony,
Welcome to Neopoet! I enjoyed this short and sassy poem. It has a nice kick to it! Look forward to reading more of your work!
Thank you,
Lavender

Triskelion

Thu, 2024-07-18 17:27

Smoking...

...a reefer sublime... you piece of shit..
(..hope you get the joke...)

Thomas

.
.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-07-19 08:37

Hello,

Welcome to Neopoet, I am glad that you have joined our community of poets! I enjoyed your poem. I hope you will post more, soon.

*hugs, Cat

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Birdcage