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B A K K I E ..

Submitted by Esker on Sat, 2015-03-28 11:54

eleven and two
my fingers grip the trucks wheel
Silence stretches
from her nose to her tail
the frame jagged
on ruts cut deep in the bigger rains

draws air in sharp
and turns
a profile of beautfiul
youthful jaw
and dark lashes
flipping in thought
like a stormline
at the stateedge

hair full of natural
highlights
and sheen

knees bent
feet up against
the glass

We have our rifles
and sidearms
and Motorola

No son
the male line dead
and this will be
she and I's last
hunt

away to college
bigger bread

we speak
nothing
thinking only
of the clever
predator

....

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2015-03-29 05:43

Roscoe Lane's picture

Excellent poem, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Esker

Sun, 2015-03-29 12:28

Esker's picture

Bakkie is south afrikan for "Truck"
I dont hunt but know people that do
relaxing sport for some
controversial of course

I knew many Males that wanted sons
six daughters later
both my brother and I
adopted and birth
have daughters

They are beautiful and
we love them

Trucks are a possesional
thing...My little Ford Merc
shortbox 81 was called
cute by my sister!
all tricked out factory
package..third hand

had I hunted with my
dad the same could
have been said about
guns

but I ended up an urbanite
never had a tough truck
four wheel drive
that kind of thing
you can get a two wheel
if you carefully plan
each route
and know when to stop
takes way longer
is not as fun
More strategic

This poem was a fun
write!

thank you

author comment

raj

Sun, 2015-03-29 13:29

A good read and more importantly something I could understand even though your poem has a lot of abstract...but this one for me was easier to understand ...i enjoyed the ride...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Esker

Sun, 2015-03-29 22:06

Esker's picture

hardened and even though shes off
toi school..hes okay...
hunting last time..maybe get something..
premise.

Think these two characters got bullied
Oh yes they did..
for being different
told what too do..
probably..
But in the end
they know.
they are solid

These two will
never bow
because they
are the Bow
that splits the
waves..the ice
Some characters
are like this

In writing
poetry
artistic works
The eyes
the force of
empathy in character
must move beyond the
meduim of nothing
into the very soul
of everything to
the viewer the
reader!!

Thank You!

author comment
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