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Tarpaulin (eddy styx)
Tarpaulin
Let me be
your human canvas
carve me like
you would on stone
my fingers bleed
words upon the page
yet I am only
flesh and bone
pacing my steps
upon the stage
only mortal man
who writes his soul
crying out
to the thin air
I beg of you
to treat me fairly
look down upon me
if you dare
but don't ignore me
with your silence
for I would be
your human canvas...
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
For those of you who don't know, eddy styx is my demented alter ego.
Editing stage:
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Comments
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-10 12:06
Wow
This is really powerful and excellently written. I've missed reading you. So good to be back.
Love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-14 10:56
Hi Faith!
Thanks for reading and responding!
Always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-14 10:58
Dear (((Ian)))
What a lovely thing to say! Greatly appreciated!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2011-06-10 22:19
Hey cat
This was interesting reading. The imagery and flow is really good. The only thing is I didn't get the understanding of it. I'm sure it's me, as it normally is. I enjoy seeing the images you so carefully described.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2011-06-10 23:00
Hey cat
This was interesting reading. The imagery and flow is really good. The only thing is I didn't get the understanding of it. I'm sure it's me, as it normally is. Other than that, I enjoy seeing the images you so carefully described.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-14 11:02
Dear Barbara,
Hi there! Nice to see you! The meaning of this poem that he wants and yearns for her so much that he will take any kind of abuse from her just to keep her. (sick twist that he is, he might just enjoy it, LOL!)
always, Cat
btw: great photo of you lovely lady!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-14 11:03
Thanks Jayne!
I will let you know!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-06-20 10:42
Dear Rosi,
I am so pleased that this poem sparked such imagery in your mind's eye!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.